Heber Valley Railroad North Pole Express

Last week my family and I had and amazing opportunity to drive to Heber to ride the North Pole Express.

We eagerly arrived at 15 minutes to spare before the train boarded. I didn't tell the kids where we were going. I think childhood needs to be FULL of surprises. When we arrived the kids were ecstatic and over joyed to be in such a magical place.

We sat in the very front of our car. I wished later that we had been more toward the middle, as I felt like that is where all of the action was.

The train was decorated beautifully for the Christmas holiday. We were given cookies and hot cocoa (that was THE perfect temperature, even Millz was able to partake). Our hostess was such a delight. She led us in singing Christmas songs. The classics. Like, "Up on the Housetop" and "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer". There were stories like T'was the Night Before Christmas and funny elf jokes. Even Hubbs got in on the action.

Mrs. Claus even made an appearance. She sat down with my kids and gave us her secret special recipe for Christmas cookies.

Then the big moment arrived. We stopped at the North Pole. My kids, along with about 7 other kids piled into one seat to catch a glimpse of Santa. During the huge pile I hear someone exclaim, "Ew! Someone farted!" After which the seat cleared out to about 3 kids. I'm guessing the farter stayed, because, my kids were still sitting near the window waving at Santa. Yes, it was my kid. My oldest kid if you must know. (On the way back he shared his goodness as he was sitting next to me.) Sigh.

Santa boarded the train and we were off. He sang some songs to the kids, ran up and down the isle (but didn't quite make it to us). Then he took time to talk to each girl and boy. He didn't ask my kids what they wanted, but we did get to take a photo with him, which was so so so fun for Joth and Memms. Millz was a little freaked out, which is completely normal at her age.

Santa gave each child a wooden top. Which Millz promptly put in her mouth.

We arrived safely back to the station. The kids were on cloud nine. The Christmas spirit had bitten them. We finished up the night with a visit to Dairy Keen, where the train whooshed around above our heads reminding us of the train ride that night.

Want to give your kids the magical experience of the North Pole Express? Here's how.

Families Experience a Magical Holiday Journey Aboard The North Pole Express

Heber Valley Railroad’s “North Pole Express” Gives a New Twist to a Family Tradition

HEBER CITY, Utah — Heber Valley Railroad’s “North Pole Express” is a magical journey Utah families will treasure this holiday season. As a new twist on an old tradition, the North Pole Express will feature a live reading of “The Night Before Christmas,” a classic holiday favorite that will come to life as families enjoy a festive ride to the North Pole.

Guests aboard the North Pole Express will enjoy singing carols, sipping hot chocolate and eating cookies while reading along or listening to the “The Night Before Christmas.” Children are encouraged to wear their pajamas for the ride. Upon arrival at the North Pole, Santa and his sleigh will greet the children and give each child a special Christmas gift.

Tickets are now on sale for this popular holiday train, which is a long-standing tradition for thousands of Utah families. First class service is available most weekends during the North Pole Express schedule. Due to the high demand for tickets, the Heber Valley Railroad is offering two matinee excursions on Thursday and Friday, Dec. 23-24, 2010.

The North Pole Express will depart every Monday through Saturday through December 24, 2010.

Nightly Excursions

• Depart 5 p.m.; return 6:30 p.m.
• Depart 7:30 p.m.; return 9 p.m.

Matinee Excursions (December 23-24 only)

• Depart 2 p.m.; return 3:30 p.m.

Schedule and Fares

Family Night: December 1, 2, 6, 13

• $29 adult, $26 senior (ages 60 and above), $18 child (ages 3-12)

Coach: December 3, 4, 7-11, 14-18, 20-23

• $32 adult, $29 senior (ages 60 and above), $21 child (ages 3-12)

First Class: December 3, 4, 10, 11, 17, 18, 20-23

• $47 adult, $44 senior (ages 60 and above), $36 child (ages 3-12)

Matinee: December 23, 24

• $29 adult, $26 senior (ages 60 and above), $18 child (ages 3-12)

Tickets can be purchased by calling SmithsTix at 800-888-TIXX, by calling the railroad at 435-654-5601, online at www.HeberValleyRailroad.org, or at the Heber Valley Depot, 450 South 600 West, Heber City. For more information and directions, contact the Heber Valley Railroad at 435-654-5601 or visitwww.HeberValleyRailroad.org.

**Full disclosure: My family was given free tickets to ride the train. This post and the opinions contained herein are my own.**

Home Made Bump-its

Have you seen that commercial for bumpits?

Well, my kids have. And apparently they have seen it a lot.
I caught them the other day making home-made bumpits.
(I am not sure if I am more disturbed that bumpits is one word
(think bum-pits)
or just disturbed period?)

See for yourself:







I about died when my friend Jon saw these and was all, "Is that a bumpit?!"
Hilarity.
According to J-Dawg this was the "Hollywood Tall Bumpit".
After eating lunch in Provo last week, and I saw all the hair...I am wondering if Utah County is the number one buyer in the country of bumpits.
(love you Utah County!)

Still rolling.

Tell me YOUR bumpit story.

Ross the Intern and My Grandpa Jerry

I have forgotten the hilarity of Ross the Intern
when he crossed paths with my Grandpa Jerry a few years back.

It wasn't until some friends and I were discussing when

Ross met Danny,

the newest winner of The Biggest Loser on Tuesday night.
How that Ross had us in stitches.

My Grandpa Jerry, (my dad's stepdad) passed away a few years ago.

Go and enjoy the hilarity for yourself:

HERE

Is the last thing Jerry says to Ross not the funniest thing you have EVER heard?

I miss him. I know my brother misses him dearly.

What a treasure this video is.

"Why One Should Never Blog While Under the Influence"

Proof:

Uhm, so I prolly should not be allowed to post EVER.

Especially not when having taken a mezcla of painkillers, antibiotics, and anti-depressants followed by a heaping amount of sleep deprivation.

Tee hee.

It wasn't until last night during my crazy dream frenzy (that I have nightly) that I dreamed I was at my aunts house going through the family pictures.
FAMILY PICTURES?!
What?
Oh ya, a month ago almost!
I. Took. Our. Extended. Family. Pictures.
We got dressed up for it and EVERYTHING!
You would think I would remember putting makeup and clothes on. Apparently it wasn't eventful enough.

I rushed down here to my computer, and much to my relief there was a family picture,
and it is actually fairly cute.
(Thanks Jill.)

I can die a happy woman.

If you are wondering what the H I am talking about, please read the previous drug induced post...and laugh, like I just did.

Lunatic. See?

Being a photographer:

...is a lot like this video. Oi...the hilarity.

Funny Face

J-Man cut this face out of a pizza carton.

Freaking awesome right?!

Love it.

Homemade Decepticons

Some funny shee...

...laughter is the best medicine, and heaven knows I need a good dose every day.

Almost two weeks ago, I had THE most smashing time at a blogger lunch hosted by
THIS
woman.

If you aren't reading her/following her, let's do lunch and discuss why you aren't. Because seriously?
I pee myself every time I visit her blog.

Let's not even discuss the ugliness that was me this day. Yard. Sale. Need I say more?

Kristina is the bomb, plain and simple.
She has changed my life.
Sounds silly, but truly, her funny ways and stark truths have me in stitches.
Good medicine.

Anywho, got to have lunch with one of my oldies from Jr. High.
Evonne is a sweetheart, we reconnected last year through blogging and it has been SO fun to hang out with her at blogging events and the like...and lunch this time was no exception.

I introduced her to Kristina...and she is ever grateful.


If you aren't reading her blog, let me give you one reason to...remember this?

It was so great to meet so many new and amazing people and to see some of my new blogging friends again.

And the food?

Delish, it fed me for three days.

Go forth...read.

Ya, I am still alive...sorta.

I *could* say this has been the busiest week of my life, but I KNOW I have had busier.

I also know that it is not going to stop until Friday afternoon, so I am trying not to contemplate on it too much or I will end up in a straight jacket.

Not that the busy has been bad, it has just been, well, BUSY. And, I am tired. Very tired.
BUT I will survive, I always do.

So I will end with this, as I was going through some photos today, I came across these:

My three year old was CLEANING THE BATHROOM.
All on her own.
She moved the stuff to the side, scrubbed down the sink, and the countertops,
(and even the toilet lid...I stopped her from going further).
She was so stinkin' proud of herself.
And I thought she was the most adorable thing on the planet.

Also, she said to me today, (I kid you not, EVERY WORD):

"Mom, sometimes I say that Heavenly Father punishes us (huh?! Where did this come from?) but Heavenly Father doesn't punish us. He just likes to give us rings on our cupcakes."

Truer words...did someone say cupcake?

Utah Man

Uhm.

For serious.


Best day of my life thus far.


My big brother started a blog.


He is a talented and gifted writer, and funnier than I will get out.


Read him...you'll be glad you did...and to make it better? He is a dood. Blogging Doods are SO so cool.

Utah Man

The Pink Schwinn

I remember vividly my seventh birthday.

It was the year I got my first two-wheeler bicycle.

It had training wheels. (I know such a late bicycling bloomer I was.)

I knew it was not "new". I tried not to let that show...even though tears stung at my eyes knowing it wasn't the shiny new bike of my dreams.

Still, I was excited. My brother Marcus made sure I was excited about it. He talked up the banana seat, and was extremely encouraging that soon I would be riding without the training wheels. Just like him. (I wanted to be just like him.) Having a winter birthday sucks...but we made the best of the day and rode the bike up and down the hallway of our house, through the living room and back down the hall. (Thanks mom for letting us do that.)

The day after my birthday, or shortly there after was the day my dad left us, and being fully aware that my parents were getting "a divorce". It was for the better, but that is another story, for another time.
(He may have been gone before this, but I recall this birthday being a defining moment.)

This made my mom a single mother. Hence the understanding now of the second hand bicycle and the utter love and teary heart I have when I think back to this time in our lives. How she ever supported herself and us on her job of $8 something an hour is beyond me. This left my brother and I home alone quite a bit. Back in the 80's though, I guess it wasn't such a big deal to leave your kids home alone as it is now. Needless to say this left my brother and I a lot of idle time...alone, unsupervised.

One day, my brother's fascination with my bike must have gotten the better of him. See on that cool banana seat up there, there is this "handle" of sorts. I am not sure what possessed him, or me for that matter, but somehow I ended up tied to the bike by a rope while he got onto the bike (sans training wheels by this point) and told me to "Run! Run fast!" Mmmk.

So I ran. I probably got a good fifty yard dash in before I face planted it into the middle of the street and had road rash from my chin down my chest and tummy to my lower...very lower abdomen. I can't quite remember if my mom was home, Marcus jumped off the bike and untied me. I remember spending the entire evening with warm cloths pressed onto the damaged areas of my tummy, trying to get all of the tiny rocks and such out of my skin. Oh how it hurt to wear pants for days. :(

Then we moved. We moved across the street from my grandma. She lives in a very old part of Salt Lake City. Not too far from her house is a 7/11. My brother and I would go there seemingly daily (although financially that would be impossible) to get some Lik m Aid Fun Dip and some Neopolitan ice cream sandwiches. What could be a more perfect ride than the Schwinn?

So there I am, sitting on the back of the seat while Marcus mans the pedals and handlebars. I am holding onto the little metal handle, trying with all of my might to keep my feet out of the spokes. (Remember mom always warned you about that?) When to my chagrin my right heel got caught in the spoke, ripped off my shoe and ripped off my heel with it. I was screaming and howling...and Marcus was still going, intent on the Summer treats waiting at the sev. Finally he stopped and I limped back to grandma's house. Grandpa put me back together and all was fine.
This time? Weeks to heal.

This is why every good bikes needs a set of pegs.

I miss my Schwinn.

Bad Boyz

My husband, who also happens to be a real estate consultant would probably not exactly approve of the following story (it may or may not drive down the value of our home in an already dwindling market).

So, I tell this story hypothetically speaking of course...because it is just too funny not to tell.

The scene: My birthday. It was last Friday. I turned 27. Ah bliss. It was a great day, a story I shall share at a later date.

Hubbs had so sweetly stayed home from work so that he and I could do some cuddling on our couch...and other places that night. I was super excited. We were downstairs watching some show or another when, at some OBSCENE hour of the night, it was close to eleven...we hear the doorbell ring. What the H? We both look at each other with raised brows. Hubbs, who was half dressed ran to our room to get some clothes on and answered the door. It was our neighbor.
He was ringing to inform us of the drug bust currently happening OUTSIDE OUR FRONT DOOR. Literally.

The story: Apparently the COPS were chasing this guy down the busy street adjacent to our home, a very speedy chase I might add, when Bozo the driver decided to turn down our street to try to lose the police in the neighborhood. Tee hee...guess what? We live on a freaking DEAD END. "Private Lane" as I like to refer to it. The idiot drove through our neighbor's sideyard fence and landed the front end of his car in another neighbor's backyard. The guy gets out of his car LEAVING HIS GIRLFRIEND...and makes a run for it. I am not sure if the cops responding had one too many donuts or what, but he got away, leaving his girlfriend to be handcuffed and put in the back of the car. Nice.

It is nice to know I have two awesome neighbors, one who ran after the dood with a bat, the other with a piece of wood. They didn't catch him either.

Good times I tell you. Good, good times.

School Daze

This shall be the first of a small series of posts I shall entitle "School Daze".

As I prepare to send my first born off into the land of curious lunch cuisine and first crushes, my mind is brought back to those long ago days of grade school. At the same time as J-Man is introduced to such woes, I have a little sister entering Jr. High, and another entering High School. So in honor of their preparation and mortification, I will share with you some of the worst moments I had in school.

Laugh with me, more importantly CRY with me...because as my friend put it after I told her this first story, "It has not been long enough, these wounds are still too fresh."
Oh how I pray I do not lose thee...oh faithful readers.

Or as my other friend put it, "Dood that is HILARIOUS."

YOU BE THE JUDGE.

The setting: 15 years ago. If you do the math, we are talking sixth grade. I had a crush on, oh we'll call him "CK". I sat at the same table with CK as well as one of THE most popular girls in the sixth grade--Jenna. I was either lucky or doomed. I prefer the term "doomed".

My family had just moved into a new home, landing me into this new found hell of a place...and in sixth grade no less. When I should have been "ruling the school" I was instead trying to make it through each and every day. No easy feat where I went to school. It was grade A ghettosville USA.

So there was this one day in Spring. I was sitting at the table after running around all recess long...and you know when you run sometimes you get cloggy in the...um nasal region. Well, as the secretions dried, it caused me the most unbelievable mass to ever grace one's nose. I was sitting there with CK to my left nose in a book (as per usual) and Jenna was also reading. So, I thought quickly that if I hurried and dug out the menace...no one would see...and I would be freed of my burden. I must act quickly. I only hesitated for a moment...dig...grab...swoop...into the mouth. Yes. I just admitted to the entire world that I ate my boogs until I was in sixth grade. Back to the story.

Once I commenced the "swoop" of my plot, that is where I neglected that behind the dried mass may lie a long string of...well you know...undried mass. So the big menace took with it all of it's relatives leaving a trail from my nose to my...er um...my...uh...mouth. I know I am kind of dry heaving as I relive it.

This is not the worst of it. As I was mortified that such a situation had occured, and that my plan had not been fully executed with the grace I had so fully thought it should...who is it that was there to witness the entire event?

Was it CK?

Thankfully, no.

Was it Jenna?

Yes. Yes it was.

Mortification.

One of THE most popular girls in school just saw me PICK my nose and EAT it. Death. What was I to do? She sat staring at me. I was still cleaning off the mess. And what is it you suppose she said to me?

"It's okay Kim. I used to eat my boogers too, I won't tell anyone."

I am CERTAIN I was three shades of red, nevermind the green tracing my nose and lips. I can tell you one thing...that day cured me of ever wanting to eat a booger ever...EVER again.

That day could have been very, very different. Jenna and I became very good friends, I can't say because of the booger incident...but friends nonetheless. It was really good for my self-esteem.

As far as eating boogers, in case you are all sitting at your computers reaching for your garbage can to hurl in...read along, you may think twice the next time you grab for a tissue.

I rest my case.

School is hell. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Secretly...

Or not so secretly anymore I guess, I freaking love this show. If I could get my butt out of bed a half hour earlier to watch it each day I would...just to watch it. Secretly, I kind of get excited when my kids wake up that half hour earlier so we can. Tee hee.

Why do I like it so? Well, I think it is just a smart show. I really think the writers do a great job at making it "smart". For me, as an adult, I love it, but my kids love it too.

One of the funniest things is the titles and words they use and manipulate to title the show etc. For instance, Memms and I were watching this week and the title of one such show was, "Vomitrocious". Hilarious no? Reminds me of how this lady talks. So we began watching and I laughed seriously out loud. It was about puking in school (everyone's worst nightmare no?!) and teasing the kid who always got a bloody nose (I don't recall that...but seriously funny stuff.) After the little show was over they had real kids talking about puking, complete with drawings and animation.

Anyway, I am laughing right now just thinking about it. I highly recommend. Shhh, don't tell you heard it from me, I might deny it.

Recollection.

So, the past month I was given a new Visiting Teaching companion. She is seriously an answer to prayer and just what I needed. I have done my VT'ing for TWO months straight. That hasn't happend since Kayleen was my partner YEARS ago. Hi Kayleen! Miss you.

Anyway, she and I were talking and laughing in the car tonight and she reminded me of one of the most hilarious moments of all time. Our entire ward still talks about it. I wish oh wish I had a picture to go along, but alas cameras are frowned upon in the chapel.

So, in our church, the Primary children put on a Primary Program every year in the fall. They practice the songs all year long and their little parts for weeks to get it just right. Last year J-Dawg was 4. It was his first program. All the kids were sitting up in the stand, J-Man and all of the other little Sunbeams on the front row. Right where everyone can see them. Cuz they are small you know? Gotta see the little ones of course. During each song, they have the children stand up to sing. Well, little Jobby is front and center, and throughout each and every song he is seen either playing the drums or doing a wicked air guitar solo. I kid you not. My kid. Only my kid. Hilarious right?

I don't know why I never blogged about this, but my sweet companion reminded me of it tonight, so this year when the program rolled around, everyone (teenagers especially) were waiting for Jobby to break out in another round of air guitar. Alas this year he did not do it. There was disappointment all around. Oh how I freaking love him.

Such a typical day for us. Usually can be found in our jammies, all day. What is the point if we have no where to go?

If you don't pee yourself...

...don't say that I didn't try. Mmmmk?

Thanks Janay!

Thomas! (And his friends.)

True story:

Riding home from dinner tonight, I was sitting in the backseat with Jothan. Over the radio airwaves we hear this song of little kids singing about Gordon B. Hinckley.

Me: "Hey Joth, do you hear that song on the radio? They are singing about Gordon B. Hinckley."

Joth: Listening intently. "Oh ya Mom they are!"

Me: "You know that Gordon B. Hinckley died and went to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus, right?"

Joth: "Ya Mom, now there is another Gordon, named Thomas!"

Leave it to my little four year old to recognize that A: We have a new "Gordon" (prophet) and B: That in the show Thomas and His Friends (You know which Thomas I speak of...) There is an engine named Gordon, and an engine named Thomas. I would have never put those two together.

Little Man, you totally RAWK, I love you so much!

What is wrong with this picture?

Could anything else be more utterly contradicting?

Observations:

Kim: "Hubbs, I just bought this sweater, what do you think?"

Hubbs: Silence

Kim: "Does it look like a maternity sweater? I think it is a little big is the problem."

Hubbs: "Yes, it does."

Kim: "Nice."

Be it known that I am giving this new sweater to a very pregnant friend of mine.

And a post would not be complete without some holiday cheer and some photos: Totally caught eating the fruits of the labor...(both of them!)


Gingy did not survive.

Till next time.