Getting Results

***Originally posted to the Shredding with Simply Me blog. If you would like access to that blog, and are interested in losing weight or sharing your weight loss stories, photos, triumphs, as well as struggles, please email me: kimsueellen[at]gmail[dot]com and I would be happy to give you access. We have room for about 25 more readers.***

Friends. I had to share some good news. When I measured in this week I finally saw some tremendous (for me) results from the last time I measured in about 3 weeks ago.

I had lost 1/2" from each thigh, 1/4" from each calf, 1/4" from each bicep. So I have lost a total of 5" from my entire body since Jan 1, 2011.

This was a huge step for me. Since my last blog post, I have not done anything different. You know the post, the one where I cry about hovering at 188.2. Well yesterday I weighed in at 186.4. This puts me at having lost 14.75 total. My highest weight was 205. I didn't start counting weight loss until I was at 200lbs. I am thinking if I want to sound incredible I should count that 5 extra pounds just to say I have lost 20lbs. *giggle*

I have also 'grown out of' two size 17 jeans (I know, I know that is a junior size) as well as almost completely not being able to wear 2 size 14 (misses size) jeans. I went to the Old Navy clearance rack yesterday and pulled off a size 12 super nervous as to whether they would fit, and guess what? They fit perfectly. Like a glove. Not a tight glove, but a nice, sweet glove. My bumm looks TOTALLY hot in them. Please comment on it's hotness the next time you see me wearing them.

I don't write this to boast, but to share with you. I have not seen any sort of change or result in my body since November. Nothing. It has been disheartening at times, and I have, of course wanted to give up. I have pushed through, and while this may be a temporary slide in the right direction, I know I am going to hit other roadblocks and long plateaus. I just need to realize that all of those things can be pushed through, and once again I will be able to see something wonderful and beautiful on the other side. Defining who I am by what I am inside is far more important that what I look like on the outside. However, it is a beautiful place to be reflecting the beauty in both areas.

I don't want to talk about 'goals' or specifically what my 'goals' are. Sometimes I feel like goals are so abstract, and intangible. I am keeping with my goal to lose 5lbs at a time. Ultimately, I would love to see the number 140 on my scale. It is a good number for my height and frame. I would love to be able to wear a size 8 jean. I would be content at these numbers. For now, I am embracing this size 12 body and I am going to love her and carry her with grace and sophistication.

xoxo

***Edited to say that with the encouragement of a few close people in my life, especially Em, I am going to run with the fact I started at 205. I am not as ashamed to admit that now as I was at the time, I have personal journal entries to prove how much of a dark place I was in. I was in complete denial, therefore pretended it wasn't real. It was. It was very very sad. Sigh. So, here we go. Down 20. Feels good. Really good. ***

envision:

My last post was also my 500th post.

(But if you count the two years I de-blogged, it is more like my 1000th post.
Just FYI.
Love you, thanks for coming back and loving me through all the shee.)
Please come back next week for a special celebratory giveaway!

FRIENDS!

The most amazing thing is happening this summer.
on
July 13, 2010!

My friends Natalie Norton and Jonathan Canlas are having a one day Workshop.
I am going to be there.
Are you?
PLEASE oh please come and hang with me, and meet these amazing photographer's and people!
I love the name:

envision
(ironically my 'Norton' anti virus just popped up on my screen, it is a sign you must come!)


e-mail Natalie or Jon for details:

natalienorton{at}gmail{dot} com
jonathan{dot}canlas{at}gmail{dot}com

and have a glorious day.

<3 me.

Back to Work--

--ing Out.

I had about two weeks to work out hard between having Millz and before my surgery,
which put me out from almost no exercise for another six weeks.

It has been hard on me.

The last four months have just been one lazy, messy, day after another. Last week was the week when the red light turned to green, which meant I needed to get my lazy ars off of the couch...
(not that it spends much time there anyway with three little ones.)

So, Friday I started my exercise routine, three weeks before I start training for THIS.
(still waiting on word if I got in though, cross your fingers.)
It is not too late to get in on it too...sign up for the lottery...training starts Dec 27!
Get your super fab shirts here.

Anyway, today I tried the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.

Holy Bananas.

I got this DVD for a STEAL only $10 on a Target sale (my fave store) and holy mother.

I hurt.

I never realized 20 minutes could hurt so good.

I think I just might be able to get back into this work--ing out thing again.

As for 'real' work?
Ya I've been doing that too.

Check it out here.

Huggs.

News

(Be assured there are LOTS of pictures of the other kids too. Those to come soon.)

Blogging here today.

Go and feel inspired.

Just kidding about that Maternity Leave...having surgery the end of the month.

Deets to follow.

Announcement

First, go and watch this.

Second, I have an announcement.

Third, I want you to join me.

AT THIS.

(mrs. r is coming, and so is the gilded pear.)

Touched.

I had the most amazing morning.

The past few weeks have been really draining on me
mentally as far as work is concerned.

I have been going through that motion of,
"Am I good enough?"
"Why am I even doing this?!"

Just the normal things I struggle with and have always struggled with
(lack of self-confidence maybe? Probably.)
I dunno.

I have been praying about it.
Heavenly Father and I are pretty tight these days.
I really mean this, with no exaggeration.

Take last night for instance.
I am on a session in Ogden, UT...the dark, dark storm clouds
are coming about a million miles an hour.
I commence praying my guts out that the downpour doesn't
happen until the session is over.

I joke with the couple,
"Don't worry, God and I a pretty tight, and it is not going to rain until we are done with our session."
45 minutes later, as I am getting ready to pose the last shot, it begins to rain.
Finish the session, get to my car, and it begins to DOWN. POUR.

Really? REALLY!
So, jokingly during the session the wife says to me,
"Could you pray for my husband? He is looking for a new job."
We both giggle. I say,
"SURE! I will tonight."
She texts me early this morning to tell me her husband got the job he wanted TODAY!
Seriously? SERIOUSLY!

Funny. But true.
I am really being silly right now, but the thing that is not silly is that my faith is strong...
and I recognize the tender mercies Father has been blessing my little family with.

...and today was no different.

I log into Facebook, and a client from 9 months ago posts this to my wall:

"So we finally have the pictures you took up on the walls here. They look AMAZING. My husband said:
"The only problem is they look like they were the pictures that came in the frames."
Last night we had the relief society presidency over to visit and the one said:
"These are probably the most emotionally charged family pictures I have ever seen."
So Thank you!
EVERYONE Loves our pictures, even if they are 9 months old :)"

Tears. This special lady had NO idea that I was struggling with my feelings and abilities, and here she was an answer to my prayer.
I cried for awhile this morning, it was so nice to hear that I have affected people with my photography.
That is what I hope to do, to capture a fleeting moment,
and make it timeless and forever.

Just wanted to share today, how thankful I am.

...and oh if you need me to pray for you, just let me know in the comments.

Kidding...well, kind of, I am just worried the lightening is going to strike.

Why Blogging is the Bomb

You can keep in touch with those who are far away.

You get to meet cool new people who you would have never met otherwise.

There is no better way to laugh your ace off.

The support of people all around the world for someone both you and they have never met.

To be COMPLETELY inspired.

And finally, two fold...
to reconnect with a friend from JR. HIGH! AND to win a
$100 Visa Giftcard.

Have I mentioned how much I heart blogging?

What is YOUR favorite thing about Blogging?

Opposition

****
Author Unknown
****

Cripple him, and you have
Sir Walter Scott

Lock him in a prison cell and you have
John Bunyan

Bury him in the snow of Valley Forge, and you have
George Washington

Raise him in poverty and you have
Abraham Lincoln

Subject him to bitter religious strife, and you have
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
The only president to serve four terms in office

Burn him so severely in a school house fire that doctors say he will never walk again, and you have
Glen Cunningham,
who set the world record in 1934 for running the mile in 4 minutes 6.7 seconds

Deafen a genius composer and you have Ludwig von Beethoven

Drag him more dead than alive from a rice paddy and you have
Rocky Blyer,
running back for the great 1970 decade Pittsburgh Steelers

Have them born in a society filled with racial prejudice, and hatred
and you have
Booker T. Washington,
Harriet Tubman,
and Martin Luther King Jr.

Have him born in a Nazi concentration camp, paralyze him from the waist down at age 4, and you have
Itzhak Pearlman,
the incomparable violinist

Call him retarded and write him off as uneducated, and you have
Albert Einstein

Amputate the cancer ridden leg of a young Canadian and you have
Terry Fox,
who ran half way across Canada on an artificial leg

Take both legs away from him and you have
Douglas Bader,
an RAF fighter pilot who was captured three times by Germans and escaped three times on artificial limbs

Label him too stupid to learn and you have
Thomas Edison

Blind him at the age of 44 and you have
John Milton,
who 16 years later, wrote The Great Paradise Lost

Call him dull, hopeless, and a flunk out of school in the 6th grade, and you have the famous statesman
Winston Churchill

Tell a boy who loves to draw that he has no talent, and you have
Walt Disney

Spit on Him, mock Him, humiliate Him, betray Him, and crucify Him, and He forgives you...

****

I am back, after a long week. You have been missed. Have had a lot of things going through my mind the past week, about trials and suffering. I have watched many over the past two weeks. It has saddened my heart but also has renewed my faith in who we are and what we can accomplish and overcome.

To all of my friends who are dealing with opposition right now...please know I love you and I am thinking of you. My heart is truly with you.

Hope you all have a beautiful week!

What the?

Sometimes, especially this week, I cannot fathom why so many seemingly terrible things are happening all around me. Happening to AMAZING people. Ugh.

I hate seeing my friends hurting.
In the course of two weeks I have seen a friend lose a baby, another deal with her baby being very, very sick in the NICU, another friend struggle with legal stuff as well as wondering if her husband will ever find his dream job. Friends I have never met, making decisions about cancer, something no parent should ever have to make. This is just the tip of the iceberg really, I could go on and on and on and on.

Then, things in my own life that I wish would just go away, keep coming back up, like bad Italian.
Seriously, when is enough, enough?

I don't have the answer to that. I wish I did. I had the opportunity to see an old friend tonight. I haven't seen her for 9 years. It was BOMB. The funny thing is, we got talking about my year last year...dood, people, it sucked! It sucked ace. Let's be honest, if this blog wasn't Rated PG13, I may be dropping a few f'bombs about how my year was.

It kills me to think back on it...while at the same time,
I feel so victorious over it.

The trials that seemed to weigh me down, the holes in my walls as proof, now stand as medals of courage and valor, and reminders of where we have come from...and that no matter how bleak things look, there is time to heal the wounds.

Time to break free and hope for something better.
That is it never the answer to give up, but to keep fighting.
Because we all know how cool it is to be a winner.
How thankful I am to finally be on the other side for awhile...to give my hope and heart to those who need it so badly.

I just wanted my friends to know tonight how much I love them.
How often I think of them, and pray for them, and hope for them, and wish the best for them.

• Those who are waiting for babies, both through adoption, and through pregnancy, or hoping for pregnancy.
• Those who have lost their babies do to death and other tragedy.
• Those praying with swollen eyes over their babies whose future is still uncertain.
• Those who watch daily, their little one suffering with cancer (damn brain tumors, damn them!) and are not sure how many more days they will have with their six year old.
• Those who are seeking for peace and finality in their hope to be a forever family.
• Those who really would like to tell their boss to suck it so they can feel a grander scope of what this world has to offer...something other than limbo. (I hate limbo.)

Just praying for you...all of you, with all of my heart. All of it, not one spot left for anything but.

Totally going...

...so should you.