Healthy Home Giveaway!

A fun and exciting giveaway can be found on my review blog HERE.

M.I.A.

It seems like our little house has been hit hard with illness this winter.

This past week has been no exception, especially with this little one.
She has been SO sick.
After 48 hours and three VERY sleepless nights, I took her into the doctor.
Ear infection. He listened to her lungs, and we were given the strict warning to watch her over the next 24 hours to make certain her breathing did not worsen.
Did you know pneumonia was going around for these tinies?
Neither did I!

Luckily, after her second day of eating only 12 ounces (yes that is for the WHOLE day)
and not eating for 24 hours before that...
she is still holding her own.
Not better, but not worse, and after FIVE sleepless nights,
of holding and sleeping with her on the couch...tonight
she is SLEEPING.
SOUNDLY
Not a cough here or there.
I think we may be out of the woods.

Bliss.

Anyway, that is where I have been.
Hoping that as she gets feeling better I can get back to the blogging game.
I have so much to discuss...and guys, I am WORKING again, so that means I will get to visit your bloggy blogs when I work!

See you soon!

The Fates.

Last weekend after running my long run, and being completely unable to walk afterwards, my husband laid it out on the line, "Kimmie, maybe you shouldn't run your half." I got all sorts of huffy on him...but did what I normally do, take his advice, stew about it, then took it to prayer.

I am a very religious person.
I know there is a God, and that he loves us and is here to help us.
After praying, I got my distinct answer...that I shouldn't run this half marathon on Saturday.

But, like most children, I took my Father's advice and I didn't listen...I took it upon myself that I would in fact run because I had been training for this for WEEKS.
All of the hours pounding the pavement to what?
Give up now?!
P'tcha...that was not me. I am no quitter. Hurting feet or no, I was going to cross that finish line.

Fast forward to yesterday morning at 4 a.m.
I awaken to the. most. painful. throat. E V E R.

Within two hours said painful throat had turned into
fever, chills, cough, congestion up the ying yang.

I spent 5 hours on the couch in fitful slumber while my
six year old played dad and delightfully helped me in any way possible.

Last night was no different.
In fact, if possible, I thinkI may have passed out a few times
IN. MY. SLEEP.

So, the Fates conspired.
And they won.
Oh how sad I am to admit that they won.
No race tomorrow.

I am a believer.

I will listen.

I will go back to bed now.

Death. Bed. (Surgery blows and other such nonsense.)

Hi.

Sorry I have been gone.
Mostly I have been sleeping, interspersed occasionally with bouts of work
I probably shouldn't have been doing.
(Got reprimanded on Friday. Awesome.)

I am on the mend.
It will be three weeks tomorrow, and all being told, I am feeling better day by day.

The lovely Leisha came with mrs. r to comfort me and to bring me goodies that I couldn't eat. (bless them) Leisha also brought with her a camera. Gotta love that camera.
Proof of my awesomeness.

Here is a picture of me after puking my brains out in front of another human being
(something I try to avoid).

The IV which inevitably turns into a bruise the size of Rhode Island (I still have one from when I had Millz.)

I like to call this one, "To avoid blood clots".
Which won out highly over, "I feel like my grandmother."



mrs. r gives me an arm massage as I drift in and out of dilirium.



So, anyway, back to the surgery. I was in the hospital for about two days, I went home early because I wanted the catheter out and to be off of the O2 and to eat human food.
(a decision I kind of regretted later...)

We got to the hospital at 8.

I signed in on a little kiosk just like at the airport self check-in. Then they gave me a pager like you get at restaurants. You know the kind that buzz when your table is ready.

I wasn't sure what to think.
As mrs. r put it, it was like battle of the 80's awesomeness between pagers and hairnets.

Not sure which was the cooler part of the day.

It seems on days I look my ugliest, I get the cutest of nurses and or doctors caring for me. There was a pretty cute nurse-in-training tagging along before the surgery...
eye candy is always nice when you are about to go under.

(Don't worry Hubbs was there with me, and I inform him when I find someone attractive.)
Please note I find Hubbs very attractive.
A post for another day.

As they wheeled me into surgery the last thing I remember was some old male nurse asking to
"trade your pants for a warm blanket."
Hmm.

That was around 9:00 a.m. The next time I can adequately recall remembering my eyes functioning and working with my brain was around 2:00 p.m.

I was so worried I wouldn't be able to see any of my kids for three days...especially little Millz who is still breastfeeding.

My doctor is awesome.

After much persuasion and going up the chain of authority, he claims he finally talked to Obama and he gave the okay to have Millz come into the hospital.

He said it had something to do with health care reform and trying to get a higher rating as prez.
(Meh.)

It was nice however to have her come in later that night to be with me for awhile, it wasn't without a fight. In my drunken state of anesthesia and morphine to the spine I can recall some hobbit type looking nurse with really short arms trying to convince me that my baby would die of "Swine Flu" if we brought her in...lol.

Then the really cool OBGYN...who is almost ready to have her own practice (love her if ya'll need a referral in a few years) came in and I told her how un-accomodating everyone was being...and she put the smack down, saying "Your doctor has it HUGE on your chart that you are a new mom and that your baby has the okay to be here!"
(empowered...I obliged and loved and cuddled my baby.)

The surgery went well. I had my post op last week and things are looking good.

Benign.

That is ALWAYS a good word in my opinion.

The surgery went really well, they were able to keep most of my ovary.

So another four weeks of recovery before I am released back to my full schedule of motherly, wifely, and photographer duties...and all will be well.

How am I feeling?

TIRED

What was it like?

Like having a c-section three months after having a baby.
(or so I am told by my doctor)

Thank you so much for all of your thoughts, prayers, flowers, cards, food and love sent our way.

We needed it.

I needed it.

(Hopefully my posts will make more sense after my recovery...still feeling grade-a dopey!)

Exhausted.

Today, although crazy has been a great day.

I have been going on four hours of sleep.
(Never a good thing in my opinion.)
I will happily run on so little if it means I get to snuggle this cutie pie for hours on end.

Sick. Baby.

No. Fun.

I spent the morning at my doctor's office going over my surgery tomorrow.

Then ran home to pick up baby to take her to her doctor (note both doctors are not far from each other but hecka far from my house...).

Lots of car time.

Had to take Millz to PCMC to have some labs run, because she is so little and has a fever, and a super gaggy cough. They want to know why.

Happily as of this evening when her doctor called, there is nothing too alarming.
No H1N1...no really anything. Strange.

P.S. Dear H1N1: I hate you H1N1.
(I won't get to see my kids for almost three days because of you! You blow.)
(Hospital policy...I am sure you all have the same thing around your area too. No visitors under 14 years!)

Off to have surgery tomorrow.

I will blog from my hospital room afterward to let you all know I survived it and that no one is getting my organs donated to them...tomorrow anyway.

Inside joke.

Huggs and loves to all!

I almost forgot!

If you want to make me SUPER happy, come to a boutique this weekend.

M'ladies will be there selling our necklaces, and debuting our new adoption related baby goodies and running shirts.

Wait, was I suppose to say that?
Well, go and see for yourself. The cat's out of the bag.

Deets:

The Belle Boutique
At Magnolia Grove Reception Center
1117 west South Jordan Parkway (106th south)
Friday and Saturday
10:00-4:00 p.m.

(Totally bummed I won't see you.)

On the Mend...

...firstly, this eye is all better.
Thankfully.

She banged it up pretty badly, it was bruised all underneath.
The culprit?
No...not me silly, her
"Olhe!...Po'tock...yeeeee'haaaaww!".

Good times right?

Also,
I
am on the mend.

Was on my death bed Saturday night and Sunday morning.
Feeling 85% today.

My sweet doctors, both over the phone and the one I saw at the InstaCare
(they wanted me to go to the ER...what was THAT about?)
both were 90% certain I had this crazy H1N1.

I am not as convinced since I am feeling almost tip top now.
But alas, they gave me the Tamiflu and now I am great.

My concern?
The

103.7 degree

fever I had on Saturday night, which prompted the InstaCare visit the next day.

No one wants a boiled Millz.
Especially
me.

So long story short,
Tamiflu,
Lortab,
and a blessing,
I am well.

My family?
Just as blessed.

Now for this, when I have the baby this will stop and I will cry for days I am sure. She recounts on her fingers who every member of our family is. In this top photo, that is ME...in the bottom photo...

...that is Millz.

Get it?

Have a fab week ya'll, wash your hands.

School Daze

This shall be the first of a small series of posts I shall entitle "School Daze".

As I prepare to send my first born off into the land of curious lunch cuisine and first crushes, my mind is brought back to those long ago days of grade school. At the same time as J-Man is introduced to such woes, I have a little sister entering Jr. High, and another entering High School. So in honor of their preparation and mortification, I will share with you some of the worst moments I had in school.

Laugh with me, more importantly CRY with me...because as my friend put it after I told her this first story, "It has not been long enough, these wounds are still too fresh."
Oh how I pray I do not lose thee...oh faithful readers.

Or as my other friend put it, "Dood that is HILARIOUS."

YOU BE THE JUDGE.

The setting: 15 years ago. If you do the math, we are talking sixth grade. I had a crush on, oh we'll call him "CK". I sat at the same table with CK as well as one of THE most popular girls in the sixth grade--Jenna. I was either lucky or doomed. I prefer the term "doomed".

My family had just moved into a new home, landing me into this new found hell of a place...and in sixth grade no less. When I should have been "ruling the school" I was instead trying to make it through each and every day. No easy feat where I went to school. It was grade A ghettosville USA.

So there was this one day in Spring. I was sitting at the table after running around all recess long...and you know when you run sometimes you get cloggy in the...um nasal region. Well, as the secretions dried, it caused me the most unbelievable mass to ever grace one's nose. I was sitting there with CK to my left nose in a book (as per usual) and Jenna was also reading. So, I thought quickly that if I hurried and dug out the menace...no one would see...and I would be freed of my burden. I must act quickly. I only hesitated for a moment...dig...grab...swoop...into the mouth. Yes. I just admitted to the entire world that I ate my boogs until I was in sixth grade. Back to the story.

Once I commenced the "swoop" of my plot, that is where I neglected that behind the dried mass may lie a long string of...well you know...undried mass. So the big menace took with it all of it's relatives leaving a trail from my nose to my...er um...my...uh...mouth. I know I am kind of dry heaving as I relive it.

This is not the worst of it. As I was mortified that such a situation had occured, and that my plan had not been fully executed with the grace I had so fully thought it should...who is it that was there to witness the entire event?

Was it CK?

Thankfully, no.

Was it Jenna?

Yes. Yes it was.

Mortification.

One of THE most popular girls in school just saw me PICK my nose and EAT it. Death. What was I to do? She sat staring at me. I was still cleaning off the mess. And what is it you suppose she said to me?

"It's okay Kim. I used to eat my boogers too, I won't tell anyone."

I am CERTAIN I was three shades of red, nevermind the green tracing my nose and lips. I can tell you one thing...that day cured me of ever wanting to eat a booger ever...EVER again.

That day could have been very, very different. Jenna and I became very good friends, I can't say because of the booger incident...but friends nonetheless. It was really good for my self-esteem.

As far as eating boogers, in case you are all sitting at your computers reaching for your garbage can to hurl in...read along, you may think twice the next time you grab for a tissue.

I rest my case.

School is hell. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Frosty.

I don't think I have ever gone so long between bloggings. Really, I am sure I have, but I don't recall.

I have missed it. Kind of. Part of the reason is my disdain for sitting in front of my computer and wanting to soak up as much time as I can before I start working again in January. I have loved leaving my computer off for the last week. Seriously, I haven't even warmed up that baby since I can't remember.

Joy.

Christmas was wonderful and magical and all things incredibly yummy. I did, however spend a great deal of time kneeling to the porcelain gods. Oh how I hate them, and of course being sick like that wouldn't be complete without my kids and I getting a cold. YUCK. We were sick on Christmas, but thankfully no vomit was involved that day. Praises.

Our anniversary was last Tuesday, December 23. My heart aches that I didn't even make a special post for Hubbs. Since I was seriously, freakishly sick that day, we didn't do much. We did get a sitter and went out to dinner to of all places Sizzler. I do love me a good Malibu Chicken Platter. (Really, nothing should EVER be referred to as a "platter".) Afterwards, we had some yummo ice cream from the BR. It was only like -13 below zero (not really) but we saw some peeps eating ice cream and had to join in. Love to follow the crowd. My husband gave me the sweetest present ever. I will have to make a special post all about it, even saying that, the gift is almost too precious to share with anyone else (but I will because that is how I roll...). Let's just say it had me bawling like a freaking baby in the middle of Sizzler. He done good. I love you Hubbs. Thank you for making the last 8 years some of the best of my life. I couldn't imagine going through the trials and heartache, and laughter and smiles with anyone but you. Eternity is going to be the bomb diggity.

What was your favorite gift this year?

Mine TV is Kaput!

Taken by my four year old...back in June. Nice eh?

AS IF!

Dood, had a rough morning with the five year old. He woke with a fever...(correction he woke EARLY with a fever).

So, I couldn't send him to school, and I had no other caretaker for him. Had to nix the plans with my friend Hollywood. (Sorry Holls.)

So, what do you do when your kid awakens so freaking early in the morning? Well, if you are anything like me, we head downstairs and I let them watch all sorts of PBS until I am ready to face the day...or at least open my eyes whichever comes first.

So, we get all comfy cozy on the couch. We watch five minutes of Arthur and three minutes of George...and "pizoooooooo". Death to the television. Gone...whammo, kaput.

So, I did what any other sleep deprived desperate mother would do. I put them in front of the little 7" television in the kitchen, and I slept on the family room rug.

Notes to self: Couch is much more comfy than floor. Buy new TV (ha ha...that last part is a joke, I think I shall permanently borrow one from my inlaws).

We are alive!

A week? Seriously? Come back soon, there is much to discuss.

But the most important thing? We are alive...even me! :)

Blessed.

****In an effort to help try this sound not as dramatic as it will. (And it will) I will preface this by saying he is fine...and was back to throwing things today and telling me he 'hated' me when I told him he HAD to take a nap today. (Just so you know...)****



So, J-dawg (and I) both started not to feel the greatest on Friday afternoonish. He was fine on Saturday...not 100% but no worse. Sunday morning, I woke up with a fever, and by Sunday afternoon little man had a fever of his own...and was starting to cough. So I sent the kiddos to bed early with medicine in his tummy. I, on the other hand had chills and the blasted fever that would go and then come back...go and come back. I couldn't sleep either.

Long about 2:30 a.m. I awake to hear this awful sound. When I first heard it, I thought, "What are the kids doing up watching television at this hour?!" It sounded just like the tv was on...so weird. Well, I get out of bed, and realize no lights are on...and that the sound I am hearing is J-Man wheezing in his bed. It is then I realize, okay he must have croup. So I sit him up, rub his back...ask him to cough...try to get his breathing back to normal, which I do. He really wants nothing to do with me but SLEEP...so I let him go back to bed. (I am still shivering with chills and my fever at this time.) I grab Memms from her bed and take her to my room, send Hubbs back to sleep with Jothan with the window open...praying that the sub-zero temps help the swollen throat he obviously has.

Fast forward to 4:00 a.m. I am awakened by Hubbs, "Kimmie! Come sit with Jothan!" I run into the bathroom...half delirious myself, to my little boy barely getting any air into his little body. He was limp, and coughing and convulsing (not literally...but that motion) trying desperately to get air through his swollen throat. I run to get him some cold water...he barely can get any through, I fear that he will inhale it because he can't even relax enough to try not to breath in at the same time as he drinks...I couldn't get him to settle down. I was just holding him and stroking his little back. Flavio and I wrapped him in a blanket and took him outside. As I walked back down the hallway to our room...BAM! I hit the floor. (Fever, my son can't breathe...I am obviously thinking the worst...PANIC ATTACK?!) As I am coming out of my passed out state, I hear little Memm on my bed:

"Momma, is "Dawson" going to die?"

Tears.

"NO MEMM! He is not going to die!" (I'll be damned if that was going to happen to me...not that! NOT!" I storm to the front door...and tell Hubbs, "Take him to the ER...NOW!" (My husband is WAY faster than any ambulance I know of...and they were to the hospital in less than ten minutes.)

So they get to the new hospital in town...you know that one...if you live here you do...and they immediately pump him up on some steroids and get him on some oxygen.

Well, sometime in the first thirty minutes he got there, someone thought of the brilliant idea that J-Man needed to be moved up to Primary Children's Medical Center. So, Hubbs calls me after they begin taking him away....

Hubbs: "So they are moving him to PCMC."

Me: "Is he that bad?!"

Hubbs: "Well, the doctor up there wants to see him."

Me: "So, they are letting you drive him then right?"

Hubbs: "No...they are transporting him."

Me: "Will you ride with him in the ambulance?"

Hubbs: "Um, not exactly...see they are taking him in the helicopter."

Me: "Are you SERIOUS."

Okay...so remember how I had passed out thinking that my son was going to die in my arms because I couldn't help him, and somewhere in the back of my mind I thought he could very well not make it through this...then my Hubby tells me they are LIFE FLIGHTING him up to the children's hospital...throw all sanity out of my fevered mind at that point.

So, Memms and I...awake since early in the morn, are sitting on the couch watching all sorts of public television, when about ten minutes later I get a call from Hubbs, J-Man is okay...they are watching him in the PICU. "What?" The I-C-U. Dood!

Long story short...he is fine. Really, he is. We really aren't sure why he had to be Life Flown...only to be released 12 hours later...thankfully we do know he is okay! He is well, he was a pissy, pissy boy today, but he is alive!

The entire day today I just kept going over how he looked in the bathroom, how we must have felt, how frightened I was that I might lose him. I am reminded of what a gift he is to me. How special and intelligent his heart and mind. How much I would be lost without him.

The Spirit was totally keeping me awake on Sunday night/Monday morning. I wanted nothing more than to SLEEP and rest...but I needed to be the one to hear him wake up that first time...I hate to think what may have happened had Hubby not been laying right next to him when things went from bad to hell.

I am beginning to forget what a normal day/week/month may look like in our house...I sure as heck hope these kinds of things are not the new norm.

Be Aware.

I have been debating for months and months as to whether or not I should blog about this particular situation. Some things have arisen today that tell us that this person is NOT in anyway who she claimed herself to be, and with the announcement of our being chosen by our a birth mother, this person who shall be known as "C" has begun attacking me, my friends, and is saying very hurtful and untrue things for whatever reason. I hope that if you have been one of the people targeted, and that this person has e-mailed you, that you will feel comfortable to come to me, to e-mail me, so that we can discuss further and talk through what is happening. I appreciate those of you who have come forward to tell me about these e-mails and this contact from this person. For this reason I feel it is very important to share these things I am about to share with you. Hopefully this way, no one will have to hurt the way our family has been hurt, and continues to be hurt by those who are untruthful and dishonest and are just out to hurt people like me and my husband, and others hoping to adopt. Stick with me, it is worth it.

Firstly, an article from the Someone's Missing Handbook, Making Your Adoption Happen, A Finder's Guide for Families who are Hoping to Adopt.

Internet Safety--Adoption

Avoiding Online Fraud Adopting a child can be one the happiest occasions in your life. In order to have a positive experience, you must take some precautions, especially when using the Internet. The likelihood of fraud is greater unless you take proper care.To protect yourself, consider the following points:
Due to your strong desire for a baby, you may be vulnerable to online scams and unreasonable requests that are not in your best interest.


Always choose an ethical path for your adoption, which is not necessarily the shortest or easiest path. For instance, some states require birth father notification before a court approves an adoption to occur. In addition, all states dictate that adoptions are subject to finalizing court custodial decrees prior to a couple crossing state boundaries to return home with the baby. These laws can cause inconveniences to adoptive couples but are required. Other ethical issues may also surface that call in to question the best interest of all parties to the adoption. For example, a birth parent may request that an adoptive couple pay for inappropriate items, services, or procedures that have nothing to do with support through her pregnancy. Couples are strongly encouraged to abide by the laws and ethical practices of adoption.
Protect your privacy. In online profiles, don't mention your employer, salary, home or work phone numbers. Invite birth mothers to call your adoption cell phone number if you are in possession of one.


Don't make a hasty decision, no matter how anxious you are for a child. Don't over commit to anyone until your caseworker has had time to check out the situation.
Money should only be given through the agency. Do not give money directly to the birth mother. The agency will approve expenses and disburse funds directly to the appropriate person such as a landlord, physician, or utility company.
The most common form of fraud involves someone who accepts money from an adoptive family knowing that she will never place a child for adoption. She may promise a child to several families, collecting money from each.


Be cautious with anyone who contacts you directly and prefers to work only through you. A woman who is sincere about adoption will provide you with specific contact information and she should respect your request that she talk with your caseworker.

Additional Red Flags

The birth mom wants to bring the baby to you. She may say this to get you to buy a plane ticket for her that she can cash in later. Most true birth mothers want you to come to them.

The birth mom is not available by phone or the address is not verifiable.
She does not provide proof of pregnancy or other requested documents. She seems to always have a reason for not sending you identifying information. She may have a sudden miscarriage or hospitalization when you ask for too much information.

She does not want you to contact anyone else concerning her pregnancy. She will not give you real names or numbers of doctors.

It's rare, but has happened: fraud not for money, but for attention or to inflict harm. In these cases the birth parent is not pregnant at all. She may be desperately lonely and in need of psychological help. She wants to talk intimately with someone and knows she can find emotionally fragile adoptive parents who will care about her. Her victims are manipulated into longing for the child. The game lasts only until she is asked to document her pregnancy or to meet the agency caseworker.

Birth Mother Scams

In the middle of the night you may receive a call from a woman you don't know. She has put off her decision to place the child for adoption until the last possible moment. She is in the hospital and going into labor.

Ask her to tell you the name of the hospital and her doctor. Give this information to your caseworker who can call the hospital maternity ward to verify the woman's story.Some homeless birth mothers are truly in need of assistance. You will want them to be safe and, if the law allows, the agency may provide them with services that include housing assistance. Your caseworker will verify their story before spending any money.

Screening Your Birth Mother

As a prospective adopting parent, your main worry may be whether the birth parent you will connect with will complete the adoption. The first task is to confirm her sincerity about the adoption. This can be difficult, especially if she is located far from where you live. In your first phone call, find out her phone number and the location from which she is calling. With this information, you may be able to enlist the help of an agency caseworker in her area to meet with her and verify her information.In response to your online profile, you may receive e-mails from people who claim to represent a birth mother. It is best to say, "Great! Have her contact us or our caseworker. We'd like to talk and we'll send you some information you can give her."If this person says, "You can only go through me to reach her, " consider that a red flag and move cautiously.

Please consider these additional tips when screening a birth mother.

Search out her contact name using Google (e.g. JaneDoe@yahoo.com...type in "JaneDoe" on Google.) If the birth mother is using a different name while chatting with an instant messenger program, perform a Google search on this name as well. If you are dealing with a scammer, you may find they they have posted information on other Web sites.

If your contact has sent you pictures, right click on the picture and obtain the picture's file name. Take the file name and perform an "Image" Google search. Some scammers steal pictures off of other Web pages and then send them to adoptive couples claiming the picture as their own. Be very cautious when you use this screening technique as searching some contact images may lead to Web sites that are pornographic in nature.

Some adoptive couples have visited online forums such as www.forums.adoption. com. Couples who have encountered a contact that turned out to be a scam may post this information on these forums. Building a networking relationship with other online adoptive couples can be valuable in detecting fraudulent contacts who claim to be birth parents. Always exercise caution when networking online as information you receive may not always be accurate.

A contact may give you a cellular or residential telephone number. The Internet has many Web sites where you can verify a contact's telephone number. This is called a "reverse look-up" and allows you to type in a contact's cellular or residential phone number to ensure it matches up with the name. Some sites are free while others require payment for use.

Verifying a contact person's state or city in important when screening birth mothers. Web sites such as www.switchboard.com allow you to search by name or telephone number.
One of the best tools to screen birth parents in your LDS Family Services' caseworker. Your caseworker can help you find out and verify information. When a birth parent visits an LDS Family Services office, the caseworker can verify information and pregnancy status.

SO...

Now that this icky stuff is out of the way, I want to tell you about "C". C started contact with us in April of this year. She said she was seventeen, was pregnant, and had initially contacted us through the LDSFS website. Through the course of a few weeks we became extremely close, and eventually she told Hubbs and I that she wanted to place her baby with us. Great, we were excited, thrilled, and if any of you know us, we were going through a really emotional time during all of this, having lost our baby...and really our relationship with C was never one but love and care and concern for her and for her baby...we wanted to help her in any way possible, even if she didn't place her baby with us, we wanted her to get the help that she needed. I'm here to tell you today that C was NOT who she said she was, she was/and is a scammer, and hopefully I can share with you what I have learned so that she will not hurt anyone else, and especially those that I love and care for so dearly as she is currently doing.

In our situation, these are the red flags that we ignored at first...

There was ALWAYS some emergency...she was sick A LOT...always in the hospital, always some problem with her parents. She said her mom had died of cancer a few years prior and that she was struggling with her step-mother.

She was going to run away from home, and come stay with us. When she asked if this was okay and we initially told her it wouldn't be a good idea, she used that to her advantage and made us feel terrible, like we had done something wrong...which we hadn't and we were in the right.

She would NEVER go to the agency and talk to a worker. She was REALLY good about making ME feel good that she wanted ME to go with her (she lived out of state) just another red flag that she wasn't who she said she was and wasn't willing to make things legit.

She had what we believe, to be using a fake name, her Facebook, which she added me to, and then later blocked me from when I got smart, had many many friends from where she said she lived, but guess what? None of those friends ever wrote on her wall. No one ever asked her how she was doing, etc. She didn't have pictures on her Facebook either.

She would never send US pictures. One night and one night only she would trade up tiny pictures over instant messaging, and then one night she uploaded a ton of pictures to Facebook, then mysteriously the next day they were gone...so that I couldn't even show Hubbs. Hmmm. Then as her due date approached, she sent me a picture of JUST a belly, no head...just a pregnant belly, which of course we all know, you can't verify who the person is with no head. Interesting.

We would make plans to meet with her, seven times to be exact, and she would never show up...or some emergency would happen and she would not be able to make it...at least at first she was kind enough to let us know she wasn't coming...up until the fourth time I think...then she just got lazy and rude and wouldn't call or anything for days later.

So, during this time, up until three or so weeks into it, we trusted her, believed her...then we put it out for the world on the blog...when a sweet friend, after reading the post called me and told me to be careful, that the things C had written to us in our little post were some of the exact things another birth mother had written to her. The reference to the baby as "Munchkin" or "Gremlin" both terms which another suspected scammer had used on my friend and her husband....Hubbs and I had been concerned for a few days about C being a scammer...this is when I did some hard core searching and finding to see what I could come up with...

I paid to have her phone number searched...her phone was indeed made out to the name she said was hers, but no valid address. No information could be found on her father or her step mother. There were no people on Facebook or MySpace that matched the names of her sibling...strange and weird seeing how she said they had them...?!

Then I started googling her name...her ID's for everything that I knew...and low and behold eBay...the lovely thing that it is was THE KEY...this C had mentioned to me that she was selling her iPod on eBay...silly silly C...well I noticed that she was using the same id on eBay as she had for her e-mail, for her instant messenger etc...and that she had changed her id in the last few weeks, about the same time she contacted us...hmmm...and guess what her old eBay user id led me to? An accused adoption scammer from New Mexico...and where was this eBay user from? Well none other than New Mexico.

There is a lady, Lynne who runs http://www.adoptionscams.net/ who was an angel and a princess at this time. She helped me find out all sorts of information on C...by the way that is NOT her name...nothing she said was EVER true to my knowledge, she was NOT 18, definitely NOT pregnant, and definitely NOT who she said she was. She was in fact, 32, has a warrant out for her arrest in New Mexico (hope you are aware C) and has been scamming couples like my husband and I since 2004.

I NEVER wanted to hurt C...even when I knew she wasn't who she said she was. I never wanted anything bad to happen to her. I feel really confused right now as to why she is trying to hurt me and my family. Some crazy stuff.

So, now, she has taken it upon herself to e-mail some of my dearest friends in the world and tell them horrible lies and things that she herself said about her own friends, her own family. She is mean, she is nasty...and once she is caught she turns (as has been apparent in the past) and basically turns wicked.

I just wanted to put this out there because I never felt it was my place to talk about my scamming experience, but this person has taken it upon herself to stalk my family, my life, and ruin it for whatever reason. I am not afraid of her. I don't want her or anyone like her to hurt those that I love. So, especially to my friends in the adoption world, be careful...I am so thankful that my friend called met the day that she did...and more than likely C and her H are the same people.

Be aware...

Not Good.

Sigh.

Today was not a good day.

I messed up royally.

I almost hate myself.

I am so confused.

I wish I were smarter, keener, listened better.

I feel like throwing up.

I feel like I am not worthy.

I wonder if I am?

I wonder what I should do?

I wonder if I am strong enough.

I wonder what Father in Heaven wants from me?

I wonder if Satan is working overtime on me?

I wonder if these tears will stop.

I wonder if I can take anymore?

I wonder why He thought I could handle this?

I wonder if I can.

I feel like a failure.

I am so so so sorry.

Dear Nose:

I have never been so thankful to be able to breathe out of you.

I'm happy you decided to clear up, even for a few hours.

I think throat is thankful too, she isn't as dry and scratchy and sore from getting all the dry air.

Now, if you happen to see voice, will you tell her that I miss her?

Love,

Kim

I'm a sicky.

Dude.

Mrs. R, Leisha, and I have been yard sale-ing it up the past week. We've gotten together three times to sort...trash...keep...and label all things yard sale goodage.

I have been SICK.

Like, maybe this freaking cold going around sick? Like maybe I have an ear infection sick. Like I have a sinus infection sick. Like, I haven't SLEPT (literally) in the last 48 hours because I have this stinking cough.

Thanks Linds and Leish for making me go to the FREAKING InstaCare tonight.

I'm on drugs. Life it good.

I was pretty sure I was going to die tonight. I think I will survive to see this yard sale through.