New York: Part 2

A little photo I like to call, "Red Eye"

This was day one in New York, and they were EXHAUSTED.

More New York fun all week long.

New York: Part 1

It is no surprise that the first place I went while in NYC was Ground Zero. St. Paul's Chapel, and the 9/11 Memorial Museum to be exact.

While, a beautiful place, I couldn't help feeling off. I am not sure if it was because there were SO many people there, and it was a church after all, and all of the noise? Or if it was because this spot of ground was where so many people died. I am not sure, I just expected it to be a peaceful place. Quiet, solemn.

When I got home and got my film scans back. The feeling of peace and solemnity finally came. It was as if I needed to capture those feelings inside myself to actually feel them. Which I think I did using my lens.

Hope you enjoy:

hearts

Sometimes, there are no words. Sometimes a photo can really say a thousand words.

This week has been a roller coaster. One full of many tears and sorrows, one full of happy news and excitement. Lost a dear friend this week, found out many friends are expecting, both biologically and adoptive-ly (I am certain that is NOT a word.)

Needless to say, my heart is full.

Full of hope.

Full of gratitude.

Full of love.

What has your week been like?

Toren

Watch this video of my cute little friend.
From beginning to end.
Freaking awesome he is! I have known him since he was a tiny little thing. Now he is all grown up and entering contests, and going to get all the ladies with his mad skills!

Good Luck Toren!

Hitting Rock Bottom

***originally posted to Shredding with Simply Me lovingly referred to by our contributors as swsm***

Hi all. I think I finally hit it. Rock bottom. A few weeks ago before leaving on my trip to NYC I was up late working. Somehow I was on gchat which never happens. I am much too much too busy to chat anymore. But, it happened. An old friend was on and somehow we began discussing weight. The last time I weighed in I was at 200lbs. 200lbs. I hated myself. I detested myself. It was just something inside my brain that could not comprehend that I had let myself go to that point. This friend said some things to me that really got me thinking. I won't talk about them here, but I left the conversation feeling REALLY bad about myself. I love this friend and I know she was just being honest and trying to help me. For that I am thankful for her words and thoughts.

So, anyway, almost three weeks ago, I hit rock bottom. Each day is still a struggle and a battle with never ending depression. I have been having a really hard time with myself. I have been looking at pictures from my trip in denial that this was me. I made the decision today to weigh myself as I have been more conscious of my eating and I probably walked as many miles as the pioneers in the three weeks I was gone. I was really happy to see that I had lost 4lbs. Granted, this was the 4lbs I gained since starting this journey, but it is a start. A happy start.


I will battle those demons each and every day and do my best to keep on the right path. I don't aim to inspire anyone but myself. But here goes. I am back (again) and ready to shine.

Give Health

What have you done for yourself today?

Me? I am about to take a shower. Probably a five to ten minute shower in nice hot, CLEAN water. I have had 3 glasses of deliciously ice cold water today, and guess what? That was clean too. I also had breakfast and lunch, and I have so many extra pounds on my body I can't stand it. I am lucky.

What have you done for someone else today?

Me? Right now I am hoping to change the life of someone if even for a day, with your help.

I just got home from BlogHer '10 in New York. While there I had the AMAZING opportunity to meet with P&G to learn more about their Give Health Clean Water Blogivation. I was astounded and teary eyed learning about what this company is doing to provide clean water to those around the world who need it.



We are all SO blessed. Especially those of us who wake up each day without thinking one second about our water supply. I chose to write this blog to you so that we can help change the lives of so many in need.

As a mother, my heart aches at the thought of not being able to provide essential necessities for your child. One like clean water at the top of the list is excruciating for me to think of. I want to do everything in my power to help another mother provide this simple thing for their child.

This information is astounding as well.

I am asking you to vote! For every vote I get from this post, P&G will donate a day of clean water for someone who probably has never had it! How amazing is that?

So...lookie over there ---------------------------------------------------------------------->

With a simple click, that is all we need to helps someone in need! (Let's do this thing and rock it out of the park! Come and vote every day until next Friday!

You may also click here as well, vote EVERY day until next Friday! Thank you!

First day of 1st Grade: A love letter to Joth

Dear Joth,

I have tears in my eyes just thinking about writing this. I don't want to call you J-Man on my blog anymore. You are my Joth, and my Joth you will always be.

It has been extremely bittersweet to see you enter first grade. I miss you so much everyday. Your sisters miss you. My heart is only gladdened by the fact that you are learning and that there is so much joy upon your returning home to us each day.

I LOVE this face on your first day of school:

I love your excitement. Especially your nervous excitement on this day. I could tell you were super happy about your teacher being your teacher. I could see you were a little nervous and unsure about going to school the entire day, and bringing a lunch, and trying to remember to bring your lunch box home each day. We are still about 50-50 on that one. :)

I think this photo of you with your teacher pretty much sums up your feelings on that morning.

I loved seeing your new big boy desk with the fresh box of crayons and new pencil.



And this face that looks almost like it might cry, but it is trying to be SO brave.



And I love how you always go for the blue crayon first. Blue is your favorite color and you always start with that when you draw or color.

I am so proud of you. Sometimes when I have the girls and I drop you off to walk to your line by yourself, I am pretty sure you don't realize I am still watching over you until your teacher comes to get you.

Yesterday, I stayed in my car and watched you help a little boy whose backpack fell down the steps. You ran and got it for him. And then again when a little girl in your class lost her flip flop down those same steps. Will you remember standing in that line, with the drop off and playing on the handrail? Will you remember helping those two kids without a thought or care in the world except that you saw a need and you fulfilled it?

I love you. This is who you are. Please always stay that way. Stay so kind, and loving and helpful. Continue to grow, but I beg you at the same time to always be my little boy.

I love you Joth.

Completely.

...and FOREVER.

xo

-Mom

Taekwondo Orange Belt Level 2 Testing

J-Man had the opportunity to test for his second level orange belt a few weeks ago. I am SO proud of the love and joy he has for Taekwondo.

He is always very serious, focused and attentive. His moves are strong. He is not a ship passing in the night, he is anchored and ready and fierce.

I love watching him! I can't wait for him to get his black belt (and neither can he!)

Love you J-Man. Keep it up!

Bye!

photo by moosh in indy on my 35mm

I am leaving today, to attend BlogHer. Remember how I won that ticket? I feel so lucky! The fun thing? I will be gone for more than just the conference. I just wanted you to know that I may not be able to post much while I am away. I have some sweet posts lined up in the form of what I like to call, "Love letters to J-Man." Mostly because the next two posts are about him, and his ginormous heart. He truly is the best.

So, as I leave on a jet plane, I just want to say thank you! Thank you to all of those who come here and read, and share their thoughts and feelings. This is why I blog. To be me, to meet you, to get to know me better through you. May you all have a wonderful few weeks!

xo

Sundays

Technical geeky: Fuji 100C instant film negative, bleached and then scanned. Shot on Polaroid 600SE.

I {heart} Sunday.

Why?

Because I get to spend my ENTIRE day with these guys. We get to laugh, we get to play with instant film. we get to relax. We don't have to go anywhere if we don't want to. We can be lazy and watch movies all day if we want to. We can just BE...and that is what we are doing today. Just being.

Bliss.