The Fates.

Last weekend after running my long run, and being completely unable to walk afterwards, my husband laid it out on the line, "Kimmie, maybe you shouldn't run your half." I got all sorts of huffy on him...but did what I normally do, take his advice, stew about it, then took it to prayer.

I am a very religious person.
I know there is a God, and that he loves us and is here to help us.
After praying, I got my distinct answer...that I shouldn't run this half marathon on Saturday.

But, like most children, I took my Father's advice and I didn't listen...I took it upon myself that I would in fact run because I had been training for this for WEEKS.
All of the hours pounding the pavement to what?
Give up now?!
P'tcha...that was not me. I am no quitter. Hurting feet or no, I was going to cross that finish line.

Fast forward to yesterday morning at 4 a.m.
I awaken to the. most. painful. throat. E V E R.

Within two hours said painful throat had turned into
fever, chills, cough, congestion up the ying yang.

I spent 5 hours on the couch in fitful slumber while my
six year old played dad and delightfully helped me in any way possible.

Last night was no different.
In fact, if possible, I thinkI may have passed out a few times
IN. MY. SLEEP.

So, the Fates conspired.
And they won.
Oh how sad I am to admit that they won.
No race tomorrow.

I am a believer.

I will listen.

I will go back to bed now.

"Weight a second, I can do this!"

This is a post about confessions.
It is not a post I want to be writing, but have had it going through my mind for the past few weeks, and it is one that I must write.

Remember how I have been training for the half marathon?

I haven't been blogging about it much, because, well I am a schlub.
While I have been training and running in the bitter cold, and battling illness,
and a few weeks being unable to train because of it, I have pushed through it.
The problem I am having right now though?
Tendonitis.
Like Tendonitis on steroids.

It is bad.

I described it earlier like walking on razor blades.

When I run for more than three miles I literally cannot walk for DAYS.
I feel like I am 90 years old and I can honestly not walk faster than
the older ladies at the gym on these days.
My workouts have been really rough on me, I walk a lot when I should be running.

Because of these things, and my husband noticing we discussed the
possibility of me not running the half.

When I put it out to the world, I got a handful of e-mails telling me I must do it!
That I am inspiring (thank you) and that regardless of my decision,
I would be supported either way.

Well, I have decided that I will do it.
I cry when I think about all the miles I have put in already, I just can't NOT do it.
I just won't run or train the three days this week...and hope and pray for the best on Saturday. Oh please...pray for my feet.

Part of me knows the reasons why I have had SUCH a hard time.
Here is a picture of me shortly before the last time I ran a half:



Yes, that is my bestie Casey...if you haven't met her yet you MUST at the CBC in May.

I am too prideful to show you a picture of what I look like now.

I love this picture.
That girl on the left was in a MUCH better place.
Well, sort of.
Mentally she was dealing with a lot of shee, but physically she was
30lbs
lighter than I am right now.
did I just admit that out loud?

I know that is why I am struggling.
My body hates me.
I am really struggling to shed any weight since having Millz, and that is not helping me mentally with this race...let alone physically.

If any of you are runners, then you know that the mental part of running is JUST as,
if not more important than the physical aspect.

The past two years were really hard. Things are SO good now.
I hope that sharing this small part of me will give me the courage to continue on my road to losing this extra weight I have hanging on me, so the next time I run a half...
I will be much better prepared for it.

Love you guys, thank you for continually inspiring me!
I CAN do hard things, and I will!
(totally going to buy myself that necklace when I cross the finish line.)

After the race, let's talk about what will happen when I shed 40 of those
30 extra pounds shall we?

See you at the finish line.

Of Old Ladies ,Teenagers and er Thirty Somethings.

I started the training for this today.

I. am. beat.

Due to the freezing cold temperatures here in my hometown, I have had to resort to getting a membership to our local family fitness center.
I ran on an indoor track today.

One mile is 11 times around the track.

That is 33 laps.

Thirty. Three.

My mind is still numb.

There has to be a better way.
Pedometer.

Until then, it will be me, my iPod, and the numbers going through my head...
lap 1...lap 2...lap 3...etc...

While I am certainly tired, I am excited to be on this journey again.
I had forgotten how much I love running for the sheer ME time it allows.

There is something about spending an hour or more with yourself,
meditating and conversing.
(Is it possible to meditate while running?)

I was able to release a lot of pent up frustration and problem solve a few things.

When I wasn't problem solving, I kept my eye on the random
mop buckets strewn about the track.
Three to be exact.
They were red.
Were they there because the roof happens to have leaks at those particular points?
Or perhaps they were there in case someone needed to puke?
(I would be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind that I may have to puke in them...I actually have been feeling all day the need to puke since my three miles this morning.)

Random.

Other thoughts?

How come that girl who looked to be about 13 was out lapping me repeatedly?
Every time she would pass me, I just kept thinking...
"I am almost 30." "I don't got it anymore."
PROOF I am getting...eek O-L-D

Then...toward lap 25 an older lady with silver hair pushing a walker got on the track...and for the next 8 laps, it felt SO good to pass her repeatedly.

Pathetic
is having 13 year old pass BOTH me and the old lady at the same time.
I'm just going to pretend that didn't happen.

What are you all up to after all the holiday goodness?

Announcement

First, go and watch this.

Second, I have an announcement.

Third, I want you to join me.

AT THIS.

(mrs. r is coming, and so is the gilded pear.)