Recollection.

So, the past month I was given a new Visiting Teaching companion. She is seriously an answer to prayer and just what I needed. I have done my VT'ing for TWO months straight. That hasn't happend since Kayleen was my partner YEARS ago. Hi Kayleen! Miss you.

Anyway, she and I were talking and laughing in the car tonight and she reminded me of one of the most hilarious moments of all time. Our entire ward still talks about it. I wish oh wish I had a picture to go along, but alas cameras are frowned upon in the chapel.

So, in our church, the Primary children put on a Primary Program every year in the fall. They practice the songs all year long and their little parts for weeks to get it just right. Last year J-Dawg was 4. It was his first program. All the kids were sitting up in the stand, J-Man and all of the other little Sunbeams on the front row. Right where everyone can see them. Cuz they are small you know? Gotta see the little ones of course. During each song, they have the children stand up to sing. Well, little Jobby is front and center, and throughout each and every song he is seen either playing the drums or doing a wicked air guitar solo. I kid you not. My kid. Only my kid. Hilarious right?

I don't know why I never blogged about this, but my sweet companion reminded me of it tonight, so this year when the program rolled around, everyone (teenagers especially) were waiting for Jobby to break out in another round of air guitar. Alas this year he did not do it. There was disappointment all around. Oh how I freaking love him.

Such a typical day for us. Usually can be found in our jammies, all day. What is the point if we have no where to go?

A month late, but never a dollar short.

Um, remember that thing called Halloween? I recall this same thing happening last year. At least this year I found them before December! :)

The last few months have been very rough for our little family financially speaking (like it isn't for anyone else?!) So, when it came time for the costume shopping, I was feeling a little...I dunno frightened. I have a very strict budget, and everything for myself and the kids has to come out of that small amount of allotted moolah. Imagine my surprise when I suggested to Hubbs that we go to Savers.

Have I mentioned how much I. Heart. Savers.?

We found Memmy's costume. She had been wanting to be Hello Kitty for WEEKS...if you asked her that is what she wanted to be. I was dying. I had an idea of what I wanted to do for her costume but JUST TRY to find WHITE kitty ears anywhere. So, upon looking through the racks of costumes, we came across this one. Perfect for a little almost three year old. She was in heaven.


Then J-Man, we found a "Power Ranger" costume for him at the Saver's, but they wanted an OUTRAGEOUS price for it...it was apparently "new" missing the mask and all. We left it and I promised to take him to KMart and he could pick out a Power Ranger costume there. Well, he saw this one and HAD to have it.

Here is where I get all teary. J-Man had spent the day with Hubb's parents. He "worked" at the salon all day, sweeping up the floor (Before you get all child labor law on me...my kids do it willingly, and because they want to), and he helped "the ball lady" count her money and put new balls in the ball machine. She paid him $5 for his help. Then lucky lad, he lost his tooth, and his grandpa gave him a few dollars. (Grandparents are great.) Anyway, he saw this costume and he wanted to buy it with "his own money". Tears. I got a little choked up when he handed over his $8.50 earnings (minus tithing) to the clerk. Secretly though, it was a blessing for us. It was a good learning experience for him. He is becoming quite the little accountant.

Is it funny that the Care Bear is all poised for action?

Optimus Prime!

He is the cutest thing ever.

Does anyone else's kid draw ON. THEIR. FACE? With permanent Marker? Mine does.

Holy crap she is freaking cute.

Anyway, Happy Halloween...er uh...Happy Thanksgiving.

Twins Anyone?

Been on my mind all day. Thanks for posting this mrs. r.

I want all of them.

If you do too, go forth and read.

Tender Mercies

One of my all time favorite talks.

My apologies for no post yesterday. I hit the sack early. WAY early...because I have been getting to bed SUPER late. Or super early, depending on where on earth you live. Ha!

The last few days, my mind has been focusing a lot on what I am thankful for. Thanksgiving is such a wonderful time of year. I wish it were in June or something though, because it gets the shaft in the shadow of Christmas. Nonetheless, feeling overly grateful for the things I have. We so easily get distracted by the seemingly grand things in life. The bills that pile up, the laundry that needs to be washed, dishes cleaned, car repairs, etc. How often do we take time to realize the blessings all around us and truly give thanks for them.

This year, especially today, I am thankful for the small and tender mercies that I have been blessed with. To share, I will name a few.

Thankful for exactly two manilla envelopes left. For without them, I would have to ship in a box and it would cost a lot more and drain our already dwindling bank account.

Thankful that as I was running LATE that I found an open parking spot that was CLOSE to the building I was headed into.

Thankful that during these trying economic times that I found the perfect Christmas present for one of my kids. $3 vs. $50. I heart Savers.

Thankful for aunt flow coming four days early instead of four days late.

Thankful for a medical bill of $8,000 instead of a funeral bill.

Thankful my children have a mother.

Thankful for friends who care so much about me. Especially the ones who came and packed away all that baby stuff. Did I ever tell you how much that meant to me?

Thankful to have kissed on these chubby cheeks. Thankful he is safe now.

Thankful for Adoption. That is has blessed my life and the lives of countless people who I love.

Thankful I can run.

Thankful for a talent that blesses my life in more ways than I can count.

Thankful for these munchies.




Thankful for him.


Just oh so very, utterly thankful.

Hoping to Adopt

See there? Over there, on the left hand side of the blog...I have a link list. Cool right?

Well, if you, or your friends are hoping to adopt and would like to be added to this list, leave me your link in the comments.

Sound good?

Happy day all!

"It's a Farm."

Remember the death of the horse?

She has attached herself to a new friend, named him "Pink Piggy."

Meet Pink Piggy. In the farm.

Oh the farm? Well, it is this patch of warm light streaming through the bathroom window. You couldn't tell? Shame on you!

As I was scrubbing toilet, she was talking to me.

Memms: "I feed da piggy mone."

Me: "What?"

Memms: "Mone."

Me: "What?"

Memms: "Mone...Mone...MON--EEEEY!"

Me: "Oh! MONEY!" Gotcha.

Then she proceeds to pick up any crumb she can find to feed to the pig.

Memms: "But he doesn't have a mouth."

Improvision.






I have THE best job.





THE. BEST. JOB.

Article: Adopted

Originally posted at the r house.

Adopted
by Jana Jones Steed

"We had to wait a long time for our turn to get a baby. I can’t understand how Heavenly Father decides when people should get a baby. My best friend has lots and lots of kids in her family. Her mommy had two babies while we were waiting to adopt Joey. When I told Mommy that it wasn’t fair, she just said that we needed to be patient. Heavenly Father has different plans for different people, and He knows best."

FRIENDS!

Remember when I told you about my broth'a from anoth'a moth'a? (and fath'a...but who cares about those deets?)

Anyway, I NEED YOUR HELP!

He is in a contest and he has asked me to ask you for your votes!

Please go here.

Click "Showcase" (off lefthand side).

Create a quick account...

Log in.

Click Showcase again(will be on right hand side along top)...and vote for B Flo...Brandon Flores! He is amazing people. I love him with all of my heart.

Good Luck Brandon!

"What do you live for?"

"...Who would you die for?"

Also, if you haven't, you must. It isn't so much about "adoption" as it is to choose or not to choose life. If these two don't go hand in hand, I don't know what does.

For a really neat post on such a thing, read here.

I love this movie. I own it, so if you want to borrow it you can.

I'll throw in a box of tissue.

"That little pink plus sign is so unholy."

"That ain't no etch a sketch this is one doodle that can't be un-did home skillet."

If you haven't seen it yet, you should. At least, I loved it!

National Adoption Month

A few days ago, I was reading this blog and came across the fact that this year's presidential theme for National Adoption month was:

Adopting Children from Foster Care

This was the proclamation he gave on October 31, 2008

National Adoption Month, 2008

A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America

During National Adoption Month, we recognize the compassion of adoptive and foster families as we seek to raise awareness of the need for every child in America to have a safe, loving, and permanent home.

Adopting a child is a great joy and also a great responsibility. Parents are a child's first teachers, and adoptive families can help children learn character and values, the importance of giving back to their community and country, and the courage to realize their potential. On November 15, caring parents across our Nation will celebrate National Adoption Day by finalizing their adoptions and bringing home children in need of a hopeful life.

My Administration is committed to helping young people find the love, stability, and support that a family can provide. We have joined with community and faith-based organizations to raise public awareness of foster children awaiting adoption. With the help of the Congress, we are assisting families in overcoming the financial barriers to adopting children through programs such as the Adoption Incentives Program. In addition, the Collaboration to AdoptUsKids project, which can be found at www.adoptuskids.org, provides guidance and resources for parents exploring adoption.

During National Adoption Month, we honor adoptive and foster parents who have shown America the depth and kindness of the human heart. Their love and dedication inspire the next generation of Americans to achieve their dreams and demonstrate the true spirit of our Nation.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 2008 as National Adoption Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month with appropriate programs and activities to honor adoptive families and to participate in efforts to find permanent homes for waiting children.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirty-first day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-third.

GEORGE W. BUSH

Cool right? You've been participating in something Mr. President thinks is uber important, and you didn't even realize it. (Heck neither did I, does that make me a bad American?)

Either way, having been a foster parent, I know it is a hard job. A job that does not come without it's rewards and heartaches.

I will just leave you to two blogs of other foster mother's that have touched my heart and made me realize what an amazing calling it is to be a foster parent. I look up to these women. They are so strong and such good examples of what we can all be if we only try.

http://ourfamilygardenwherewildthingsgrow.blogspot.com/

http://anothersmalladventure.blogspot.com/

Happy National Adoption Day!

Mine TV is Kaput!

Taken by my four year old...back in June. Nice eh?

AS IF!

Dood, had a rough morning with the five year old. He woke with a fever...(correction he woke EARLY with a fever).

So, I couldn't send him to school, and I had no other caretaker for him. Had to nix the plans with my friend Hollywood. (Sorry Holls.)

So, what do you do when your kid awakens so freaking early in the morning? Well, if you are anything like me, we head downstairs and I let them watch all sorts of PBS until I am ready to face the day...or at least open my eyes whichever comes first.

So, we get all comfy cozy on the couch. We watch five minutes of Arthur and three minutes of George...and "pizoooooooo". Death to the television. Gone...whammo, kaput.

So, I did what any other sleep deprived desperate mother would do. I put them in front of the little 7" television in the kitchen, and I slept on the family room rug.

Notes to self: Couch is much more comfy than floor. Buy new TV (ha ha...that last part is a joke, I think I shall permanently borrow one from my inlaws).

GTU Recap

Remember this?

You can read about it here.

It made me cry.

I love my friends Myra and mrs r. I am thankful for their segment. Beautifully done.

Enjoy some photos from the day. Compliments of Leisha Kelsey Photography.



ABC 4

Me, well part of me anyway. (Scary.)

mrs. r's finely manicured hand (by moi) and Myra. I love this pic of her. Everyone else is so staunch...she is just kickin' it...a la Myra.

The gals during the segment.

Josh. NOT to be confused with mr. r.

My ladies with the GTU ladies.

mrs. r

Leisha bo Beisha

The Crafties

Hott.

Myra

Such amazing friends I have.

My chunky boots. I am certain they are out of fashion.

I have to say THE highlight of my day was when Reagan told me how "beautiful" my hair was. Wow, really? That made me feel so good. Thanks Reagan.

Adoptions DO happen!

I couldn't have chosen a more perfect post than this for today. Go. Read. Cry.

Adoption lingo, yo.

NEGATIVE TERMS
Gave up her child for adoption
Real parent; natural parent
Adoptive parent
His/her adopted child
Illegitimate
Adoptee
To keep
Adoptable child; available child
Foreign adoption
Track down parents
Unwanted child
Is adopted

PREFERRED TERMS
Placed her child for adoption
Birth parent; biological parent
Parent
His/her child
Born to unmarried parents
Child who was adopted
To parent
Waiting child
International adoption
Search
Child placed for adoption
Was adopted

Positive Adoption Language

When I first became a part of the adoption realm, one of the things that hit me were the terms that people used to describe adoption. I was probably guilty of using some of them. Now, if I hear a term that is negative, I cringe...and try to educate. I found this article very insightful. Just thought I would share!

***Taken from http://www.internationaladoption.com/ ***
Positive Adoption Language
Excerpted from "International Adoption Guidebook," Mary M. Strickert © 2004

First introduced by Minneapolis social worker Marietta Spencer more than 20 years ago, positive adoption language is crafted to give the maximum respect, dignity, responsibility, and objectivity about the decisions made by both birthparents and adoptive parents in discussing the family planning decisions they have made for children who have been adopted. By using positive adoption language, we help abolish the old stereotype that adoption is second best – a dirty little secret that everyone knows about.



If you stop and really think about what you’re saying, positive adoption language is just common sense. For example, take terms such as real parent, real mother, real father, real family – these terms imply that an adopted child is not a real part of the family. By using phrases like this, you are invalidating both the child being a “real” part of the family and the “realness” of the family itself.



Through the use of positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption. By consistently speaking (and writing) in positive adoption language, someday this language will become commonplace – and the old hurtful terms will only serve to expose those who choose to be mean and small-minded. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption, like birth, is just another way to build a family. Both are important, but one is not necessarily better than the other.


There Are Better Ways to Say What You Mean
The old clichés "give up" and "put up for adoption" can slip out of our mouths almost unnoticed. However, are these phrases really accurate descriptions of what takes place when parents choose adoption? Of course not – no one who has gestated a child for nine months can cavalierly “give away” that child! Much heart-wrenching thought and soul searching goes into the decision to choose adoption for your child. Yes, parents do "give up" their parental rights, but do not give up on their child or give up loving their child. Saying that they “gave up” their child for adoption stigmatizes birthparents for deciding they aren't ready or able to parent. Saying that birthparents “gave up” their child is akin to saying that the birthparents made the wrong choice, when in fact, the birthparents made an incredibly strong choice by putting their child ahead of themselves.



Instead of contributing to the use of these outdated and hurtful clichés, those of us touched by adoption can do something to change the world for the better by using positive adoption language. We may have to go through a period of retraining our own minds and hearts while we carefully choose the words we use to describe adoption. We may need to (gently) correct and educate our family, our friends, and our co-workers. As we become more accustomed to using positive adoption language, we'll discover that this way of speaking about adoption will feel just as natural as the old hurtful clichés once did – and hearing the old clichés will offend us as much as a racial slur.



What we say and the words we use, communicate a lot about our values. The conscious and consistent use of positive adoption language affirms that adoption is as valid a way to build a family as birth. Choose the following positive adoption language instead of the negative phrases that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language you'll reflect the true nature of adoption – free of innuendo.




Additional Resources: Glossaries
Disabilities DefinitionsFrom the National Adoption Center, definitions of risk factors and physical, emotional, behavioral, and learning disabilities. Glossary of Adoption TerminologyFrom AdoptNet. Glossary of TermsFrom the California Association of Adoption Agencies. Glossary of Terms: Adoption SubsidyIf you are adopting a child who will receive a subsidy, these are the words to know. Glossary of Terms: InfertilityWords and terms used in the diagnosis and treatment of fertility problems, prepared by Drs. Aniruddha Malpani and Anjali Malpani Glossary of Terms: Mental HealthFrom the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Happy Day...and a Freebie!

Friends, who doesn't like a freebie?

And blog buttons?! Well, they are the NEW craze!

Who doesn't like to spread the word about adoption?

Especially their own adoption?

The wicked talented Leisha created this blog button for all of you hoping to adopt. Feel free to copy and paste it into your sidebar to link to your adoption blogs or profiles.

Interested in a custom designed adoption button?

Contact Leisha! leishakelsey[at]gmail[dot]com

House M.D.

Mmmm. Sometimes I dream about Hugh Laurie. Sure, he is old enough to be my father, but that is beside the point.

Really though, I love him as House. In my dreams I have contracted some rare and disturbing disease that only House can cure.

Another reason I love him? This episode entitled Joy, spoke about adoption.

Watch it...because what is better than House and adoption? Not much that I can think of.

Humm-i-na.

3rd Annual Adoption Walk with Me

Do it TODAY!

Because we all need to burn a few calories.

And because adoption needs you.

Wow.

I will reiterate that I have some of THE best friends in the entire world.

Pupil, is one of them. She comes over weekly to my house, with agenda in hand and we meet about adoption, we discuss adoption...among other things. She is the one who encouraged me to post every day for the month of November about adoption. Funny, when I woke up this morning and checked my blog almost around noon, I came and there were 21 comments. I was like, "WHAT?!" I didn't think the post was THAT grand...so I started reading comment after comment, then I got to anonymous...and then I saw mrs. r's comment, and then comment after comment from people I have met, most I have not...and tears rolled down my cheeks when I realized that these people had read the comment long before I had, they were on a mission to not let one person hurt another one of our sisters...sisters in blogland, sisters in infertility, sisters in adoption...

Every word in her post struck me...right down to the irony. She was at my home when I was writing the "Are you there God?" post. It was a tag team post. Brilliantly thought up and wonderfully executed. As I wrote it, I said over my shoulder, "You know what happened the last time I posted something this deep..." Well, I was so hurt and so crushed that I deleted the blog I had had for over a year. How utterly sad that was. How could I let one person dictate who I was?

Well, it won't happen this time. As you can see...just like me, there are HUNDREDS, and THOUSANDS of women and men who suffer with this particular trial.

You know what? The past three years of wanting another child have taught me, to love more deeply, to cherish EVERY moment because they are so fleeting. To suggest for even a moment that I am not thankful and grateful for what I have been given, it only proves that the person who tried to hurt me does not know me. Every night before I go to bed I spend a large amount of time by the bedside of my children. I hold their hands, I sweep the hair from their little faces, I cover them up...I kiss their cheeks. I recognize and realize that they may be the only children I ever get to have. I kneel down and thank my Father in Heaven for them, and because of the joy I have in them, that is the reason I want to be a mother again.

I want to thank EACH of you for your love and support yesterday. It meant so much to me. It brought tears to my eyes. Every comment touched my heart, if any of you are struggling through something similar, I encourage you to take the time to read each comment, because there is strength in not feeling alone. I will leave you with one particular comment that touched my heart especially, and in keeping with the spirit of the posting this month, I think it is perfect. Thank you Ashley.

I totally understand where you're coming from.I have a daughter through adoption.

I don't want another baby yet.

I am not ready to face my "broken" body again.

I want to feel normal.

I want to have just something, ANYTHING happen without a million pieces of drama, an ordeal or having to lay out my entire life history to the world.

I hate having no privacy.

I hate the fact that the events surrounding the birth of my daughter, and the 45 days afterwards, were spent in fear and pain, not joy. We never talk about it.

I hate the loss of the other children I'd hoped for. I had also envisioned myself with kids in a pew; four, to be exact. But it looks like two may be our limit. That kills me.

I hate that people don't try to understand. That you're told, "Be grateful." It's like being told, after losing your leg, to be grateful for the other one. It's not that you aren't grateful for your leg, your arms and every other appendage you've been given, but you still miss the lost leg.

Having to once again face your own infertility is just another reminder that you're a freak. You can't do what God designed you to do. If you can't produce children, then what good is having the instincts? It's being reminded of all the hopes and dreams you have had to let go of, ones you've probably had since you were a girl.

I love my daughter. I couldn't love her more if I'd made her out of playdough myself. I celebrate her adoption and I give myself major props for being able to pull off an adoption at the age of 24. But I still mourn that I couldn't feel her kick inside of me, I couldn't share seeing her for the first time with my husband. I couldn't look at her for months without feeling guilt and pain for her birth mother.

I would love to share the joy of being pregnant with my family.

And I mourn that I may not be able to.

And that's what makes me totally normal.