Feeling Accomplished

I am pretty certain I have some of the best kids on the planet.

(We will not discuss the fact that I have had to take them grocery shopping with me the past two weeks and I reconsider this statement each time I get home...and today is grocery day, wish me luck.)

...but for posterity sake, I really do think they are the best.

Found them like this...they were originally sitting on the same chair, as I quietly got my camera, somehow they had shifted and J-dawg was standing.

Bummer.

But here they were, together, quietly coloring...oh how I love them.

Love finding them in the moments of being best friends.

Then they saw me and the performances began.
"Take a picture of this."

They love depth of field I guess. ;)

Cheeser. Oi.

So anyway,
back to feeling accomplished.

We are preparing for our annual yard sale coming up in a few weeks, and thus I needed to clear out every closet, every room.

"Spring Cleaning" at it's best.

I finally got it done on Friday afternoon although things are looking like I need to re-do them starting today.

A mother's work is never done right?

So you know we were going to go on vacay for Memorial Day.
We ended up staying home all weekend long, which was BLISS.

Hubbs has been working EXTREMELY hard the past few weeks.
I know his list of "to do's" is getting terribly long, so I wanted to focus on him and what he would like to do.

Intermingled, of course with a little of what I would like to do.
(Like go to breakfast and Village Inn...using a coupon...couponing post to come later, or how about last night eating at Cafe Rio? YUMMY...or the trip to Kid to Kid where I found some amazing things. Let's not discuss the number of Root Beer Floats I consumed Let the record show I really don't like ice cream.)

Ya, ya...back to what Hubbs needed to get done.

After Hubbs spent a few hours in the morning organizing the mess that is "the RV Pad in progress.

He and I spent a couple of hours, and I mean that literally, pulling weeds in our front yard.
Our grass is still so baby-ish.
We planted it last fall and it is still struggling to look like a lawn.
We don't have green thumbs.

Anyway, it was the best time we have had in a long time.
We rented a movie for the kids and just had at the weeds.
We laughed so hard and got so scared when the spiders ran up our legs.
(Have you ever seen a 7 month pregnant woman get up so fast from a sitting position? Hubbs has.)

We checked out yard sale after yard sale on Saturday.
One of our favorite things to do, which we haven't done in YEARS. It was a blast.

Yesterday? We woke up early and went to our Stake Memorial Day Breakfast.
Delish! Then we spent the day cleaning out the garage.
Oh gag, how I wonder how it got so bad.
I have vowed to never be "that person" who can't park in her garage because it has become a storage unit...which it had, but it is organized 95% now...and we can park in there again.
Holla!

Best thing? I helped Hubbs cross some things off of his list.
That makes me happier than anything else.
Love you Hubbs!



What was the best thing about your Memorial Day Weekend?

M.I.A

I never meant for the past month to go by like it did.
I meant to be here, blogging as usual, but time and life and
emotions slipped away from me as it sometimes does.

The month of May 2009
has been an amazing one.
One full of journeys and introspection.
It has also been one of being stuck on the outside looking in on people I love who are hurting and suffering, with no way of helping, except to say,
"I love you."
"That sucks more than anything." or
"I am here for you...whatever you may need."

In an effort to try to jump back into my blog, and to actually give you something worth reading and coming here for...here I am.
Hi.
I missed you.
I missed my blog.
My heart is still extremely heavy. Such is life, and somehow we must push forward and find what wonderful things are waiting for us.

Lots have been asking, (oh how I hate...no no...DETEST drawing attention to myself.)
Weird right? Considering this is MY. BLOG.
But it is true. I am shy, and would rather stay in the shadows...
but as per your request this was me and "Millz" (code name for blogging purposes) a month ago at six months.
Millz is a girl. I thought I made that clear? Some of you didn't know.
We are THRILLED, (Although Hubbs is still freaking a little at having two girls to take care of).
This little girl has been waiting A. LONG. TIME. to come to our family, and we have been waiting for her to FINALLY be on her way. FER REALZ!
Only 8-10 more weeks.
Squee!



Puffy and slouchy...oooo SO hawt. (Photo Courtesy of Hubbs May 3, 2009)



Here is my stunning Grammy and me the day my Papa passed away. Don't we look amazing? This lady just had hip replacement! A week after Papa's funeral. Isn't she bomb? Love you so much Grandma...and eat up on those Hershey bars okay?



The last picture of Grandpa. Hubbs took this one (that is why it sucksalicious...you know I love you baby...I am teasing, TEASING).
At first I really hated it...but now I love it.
I love my kids contemplating eternal life.
I love remembering the feeling in that room, although it was heartbreaking, it was very very spiritual.
So glad he is in a better place.
Love you Papa.



And one I took of my little man. Oh how I love him. He is my joy and my buddy.

Hope you are all having a wonderful week.
I am hoping you are all getting away for this Memorial weekend.
We were going to go to New Mexico, but seeing how blasted hot it is here, I am personally skipping out going into EXTREME temps.
Going to the pool today...and sleeping in ALL WEEKEND LONG!

What are your plans?

Coldplay

Can I put this here?
I am anyway.
Go download a copy of their latest album.
Uhm, ya...for FREE. LOVE me them.

Get it here!

Why are they giving me such goosebumps today...oh the live-ness.

Opposition

****
Author Unknown
****

Cripple him, and you have
Sir Walter Scott

Lock him in a prison cell and you have
John Bunyan

Bury him in the snow of Valley Forge, and you have
George Washington

Raise him in poverty and you have
Abraham Lincoln

Subject him to bitter religious strife, and you have
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
The only president to serve four terms in office

Burn him so severely in a school house fire that doctors say he will never walk again, and you have
Glen Cunningham,
who set the world record in 1934 for running the mile in 4 minutes 6.7 seconds

Deafen a genius composer and you have Ludwig von Beethoven

Drag him more dead than alive from a rice paddy and you have
Rocky Blyer,
running back for the great 1970 decade Pittsburgh Steelers

Have them born in a society filled with racial prejudice, and hatred
and you have
Booker T. Washington,
Harriet Tubman,
and Martin Luther King Jr.

Have him born in a Nazi concentration camp, paralyze him from the waist down at age 4, and you have
Itzhak Pearlman,
the incomparable violinist

Call him retarded and write him off as uneducated, and you have
Albert Einstein

Amputate the cancer ridden leg of a young Canadian and you have
Terry Fox,
who ran half way across Canada on an artificial leg

Take both legs away from him and you have
Douglas Bader,
an RAF fighter pilot who was captured three times by Germans and escaped three times on artificial limbs

Label him too stupid to learn and you have
Thomas Edison

Blind him at the age of 44 and you have
John Milton,
who 16 years later, wrote The Great Paradise Lost

Call him dull, hopeless, and a flunk out of school in the 6th grade, and you have the famous statesman
Winston Churchill

Tell a boy who loves to draw that he has no talent, and you have
Walt Disney

Spit on Him, mock Him, humiliate Him, betray Him, and crucify Him, and He forgives you...

****

I am back, after a long week. You have been missed. Have had a lot of things going through my mind the past week, about trials and suffering. I have watched many over the past two weeks. It has saddened my heart but also has renewed my faith in who we are and what we can accomplish and overcome.

To all of my friends who are dealing with opposition right now...please know I love you and I am thinking of you. My heart is truly with you.

Hope you all have a beautiful week!

Memories of Grandpa Crawford

Talk given:
Friday, May 8, 2009

I don’t normally ‘drink’ but today I am honoring one of my most favorite men ever. I don’t remember a day growing up where he didn’t have a Coke in his hand! Every morning when he would get ready for work, he would have at least six with his lunch. I think I realize now why Grandma always gave us her Diet Cokes…she must have had to spend a small fortune keeping Grandpa in Coke!

There have been many sleepless nights this week as I thought back on what I could share with you about such an amazing man. I will be brief in my words, but hope that you can feel what a powerful influence he was on my life, on all of our lives, and I would just like to share with you the five most powerful things I learned from him.

The first:

He gave me the blessing of the Priesthood in my life. In essence, Grandpa was not only known to my heart and to me by the title of Grandfather, but he was in all aspects to me a “father”. He was like a dad to me.

When I was a baby, he gave me my name and a blessing.

When I was very sick at the age of 2 ½ he came to my home one night, when I was a very very sick girl. I can remember some images of that night, he was one of them. There is no doubt in my mind that I am here today as a direct result from his blessing upon my head.

He was there for me again a few years later when we were three-wheeling in the snow. He was pulling kids around on tubes hooked to the back of the fun machines, while I was sitting on the three wheeler. I don’t recall if he was driving, or who was at the wheel, but somehow we stopped short and my head kept going…right into the handlebars. I still have a scar in proof of the day. I remember being carried and being laid in my aunt and uncle’s gold van by two big hands. I was cared for that day by two big strong hands once again.

A memory of the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City comes to mind. I remember entering that warm, warm water and walking across the font into those loving, strong hands, and being baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I remember many strong hands, his were a set of them, placed upon my head to confirm me a member of the church.

The second thing that has stuck with me

throughout my life:

…and I mentioned it a few times, were his hands. He had the most AMAZING hands. They were SO SO big. They were so strong. I remember as a child, sitting on his lap, or laying with him on the floor watching television, and just looking at his hands, caressing them, and comparing my tiny hands with his.



Grandpa was a mechanic. So it goes without saying that his hands were always “dirty”. It was a sign of hard work, the sign of a man who loved his job. The most amazing thing, and the hardest thing to watch over the past twelve years, was to watch his hands become clean over time. As I would go visit him at the VA, I would still caress his hands, hold his hands and compare mine to his…but the thing missing was the dirt. I could never get over my astonishment. I learned from my husband that if you are truly happy in a job, you will want to do it forever, literally. For my husband’s father he cuts hair. Someday he hopes to cut Heavenly Father’s hair. It is my hope that someday Heavenly Father will let my Grandpa work on his car so that when he greets me after this life that I will recognize his hands again because they will be covered in dirt.



The third thing he taught me?
How. To. Swear.
I recall many a Sunday afternoons waiting for Grandpa to get home from his church meetings. Grandma would have dinner ready and waiting for him. He would walk through the door, throw his scriptures and say, (and I am editing this because I am in the chapel) “Darn it all to hell!”

Other times we often heard, “Oh Shiz” or “Aww Hell”quickly followed by my Grandma’s “Lloyd!”

I guess living across from them as long as we did; something was bound to rub off.
I swear like a soldier at times, and I owe that all to my Grandpa…a habit, like Coke I am still trying to quit.

The fourth thing I take from him:

…is his love of art. As we have heard today, Grandpa was a wood-worker. He was a true artist. I remember him helping my brother with his Pinewood Derby car for Scouts. I remember watching the race of that car in the basement of this very church. Grandpa was so proud of his Grandsons! I also remember him helping Marcus with other Scouting projects. One being knot tying. He was always eager to help us with school projects, and I still have a clay sculpture of the Delicate Arch he painted for me.



I was SO jealous of the day he took Marcus out and let him USE HIS CAMERA! Even at my tender young age, I saw how proud my Grandfather was of his beautiful camera. I too had that love, even back then. I have taken what he loved and made it my own, and to this day I find much solace and moments of reflection behind my lens. I owe my love of photography to him.



I feel so blessed to have inherited some of his talents.

Finally, and most important I take away:

…his love for his FAMILY.



When I learned of his “courting” my Grandmother, I am amazed. I am amazed to see their old fashioned love, and to have taken that into my own life. I love the story you will hear of the Seminary Social. Love his absolute devotion to my Grandma, and so thankful that I have found someone like him to love me for all eternity!

His love extended to all of us. Every single one of us in this family was loved and adored by him. I can imagine his happiness when his Grandsons were born…but I know that he no less loved each one of his granddaughters with the same adoration.

I was blessed to have spent so much time with him as a younger child. He and my Grandma were there for my mom and for us.

I am sure that there were times when he came home from work, and all he wanted to do was spend time with his beautiful wife…and there we were.
But he never let us know that. We never felt that.
He was always so loving, he let us watch his television and drink his Cokes…and he would play with us.

He taught me to sing to my babies.
He sang to me. He sang to me often, and in honor of him, and to give him my answer true, I want to leave you with the song he used to sing to me almost daily when I was growing up. I love you Grandpa. Until we meet again:

“Grandpa, Grandpa…here is your answer true.
I’m half crazy all for the love of you.
I don’t need a stylish marriage…
I don’t even want a carriage.
We’d look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.”

Only...

...one more day of emotional drainment and I'll be back.

Had some really neat experiences regarding my
Grandpa and his passing.

Can't wait to share.

For now?

Sleep.
Yes please!

According to...

...random.org the winner is:

"Amber Ro said...

Oh, I would love to win...amsrobbins@gmail.com"

Congratulations Amber!

Your certificate has been sent to you.

Remember to redeem it by Saturday, May 9, 2009 to get your prize.

Thank you to all who participated! SO glad I didn't have to choose the winner!
And a special thank you to
Goldsmith Co. Jewelers
for the generous gift.

Hope you all got your pearls and started your Pandora bracelet.

(I am off for a few days as my grandfather passed away on Sunday night.
My family needs me as we prepare for his funeral.
See you after Friday. Loves to all.)

Goldsmith Co. Jewelers $50 Giveaway!

Attention Blogging friends!


Me and the ladies (Leisha and mrs. r) at the red carpet event! Hawt.

Remember all the joy I shared with you about my new necklace and bracelet?
Well, I wore my necklace all day cleaning, and
"Princess" was an understatement.
Who says we can't be
June Cleaver?
Although I did leave the dress and heels in the closet.

Anyway, hope you are all on your way to pick up your strand!

Who wants to win a $50 Gift Certificate to
Goldsmith Co. Jewelers?


Wishing we could really crack the safe.

Wanna know how?

Here are the deets:

• The contest ends May 4, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. MST
  
  
• Comment on this post anytime between now and Monday night, LEAVE your e-mail address! If you don't leave your e-mail address, I won't know where to send the certificate. Got it?
  
  
• If you want extra chances to win, make a post and link back to this post on your Facebook, Blog, or Twitter (follow me while you're at it @kimsueellen).
  Then come back here and comment again, telling me where you linked it.
  (Again, please leave your e-mail addy with each comment.)
  That is three extra chances to win.
  
  
• I will draw and announce the winner on Tuesday morning.
  
  
• The Gift Certificate MUST be redeemed at Goldsmith Co. Jewelers by Saturday, May 9, 2009 since it is a gift for Mother's Day.

Have fun...hope you win!

Hearts on Fire diamond ring. (Cost? More than my car.)

And if you win, would you consider sharing it with me
so I can put it toward this ring that mrs. r is wearing?

I am IN LOVE!

Goldsmith Co. Jewelers

120 N. University Ave.
Provo, UT 84601
Tel: (801) 375-5220

Store Hours
Mon to Fri: 10-6
Saturday: 10-6
Sunday: Closed

Last night I had THE most amazing opportunity to get my first piece of REAL jewelry, which I LOVE, and I want to give you, my lovely readers the same opportunity for Mother's Day.

This is what I got, and I am IN LOVE:



A Pandora Bracelet

This is not just ANY bracelet.
It is the Pandora charm bracelet exclusive to Goldsmith Co. Jewelers in Provo.

Now, if you are ANYTHING like me, you have always wanted a charm bracelet, but didn't want the cheap kind...but still want something affordable.

Well, ladies, THIS is affordable, with charms starting at only $20 it will be easy for your husbands to add one to your bracelet for your birthday, Mother's Day (hopefully they add a couple for this day) or any other special occasion, holiday or event.

The possibilities (and charms) are endless.

Here are a few of my faves:

I must admit I am partial to the ones that dangle...

SWOON.
This is the first bead I got to go on my new love. Ahhh, can't wait to go back and get more!

Really can't wait for my bracelet to resemble something like this!

D-vine!

Also, the super fine people at Goldsmith, Will, Trevor, and Matthew, (to name a few)
gave me one of the most beautiful necklaces EVER...

Want one of these?



Goldsmith Co. Jewelers
are so bomb that they want to gave each of my readers (or my reader's spouse...hear that men?! RUN don't walk!) the opportunity to have their own strand of
Freshwater Pearls!

A $99 necklace FOR FREE!

All you have to do is print off the coupon below, take it to Goldsmith Co. Jewelers by
Saturday, May 9, 2009
and the pearls are yours!

Believe me, they are gorgeous and will make you feel like a princess!

If you aren't in the Northern Utah area...call someone to get yours for you, don't miss out!

***Click to enlarge and print off!***

Make sure to check out the Pandora bracelets when you go and get one for yourself.
Zumm. Zumm.

The people at Goldsmith are so nice, and sweet and promise to take the best care of you, let them know I sent you...

****Come back tomorrow for another special treat from Goldsmith Co. Jewelers!****

School Daze--TI-89

So, our next installment of School Daze brings us to my Sophomore year in high school.

Let's just get it out in the open that I suck cheese at mathematics.

It is my WORST subject, I was even better at P.E. than I was at math this says a lot.
I can't remember the actual term for the particular mathematics is that I took in 10th grade, but it was some sort of "Algebraic" concoction.

I pride myself on remembering the names of people and events from my past, but for some reason, perhaps to protect the innocent the name of my teacher eludes me.
So, I will get on with the story. I do recall he had a lisp, my teacher...if anyone out there can tell me his name, I will send you some bubblegum.

****Edited to note: Marci wins the bubblegum...it was Mr. Reynolds! Marci, see me after class.****

Anyway, here I am, 15, at a new school, half of my friends went to another school and I am sitting in Algebra 2.0 at the beginning of the year knowing absolutely NO ONE, and up the isle being passed up to me from the back comes a graphing calculator.

What the H is a graphing calculator?
I had no clue...dood
I was from the West Side...we had no such wonders known across the valley.
Anyway, "written" on the calculator were the words:

"Kim, will you go to Homecoming with me?"

Uhm. Okay, firstly, who the H sent this? Secondly, I don't know how to respond via said calculator. Thirdly, I am only 15 and I know that my parents would not approve of my going on a date before my 16th birthday...(my religion encourages youth to start dating at 16).
Panic sets in. PANIC.

I look to my left, then to my right, then I look back...and I see the culprits.

They are laughing. Laughing?! Why the H are they laughing?
With all the bravery in my little body--it once was little, I stand up and walk the calculator back to the two laughers and say,

"Is this yours?"

Then dorkily and red-faced I slink backto my chair shaking and hating life at that very moment.

A ton goes through my mind:
Were they serious? Why were they laughing?

I go home and tell my mom of the incident.
Incidentally I need a graphing calculator for class so she takes me out and gets me the most up to date, crazily hard to operate and manipulate calculator of all TIME:
the TI-89.
She instructs me that the next day in class she wants me to type back a response to the laughers...on my calculator.

So, I do it. I politely decline the "invitation" to the dance on the new beast of a calculator...and pass it back.
Jaws drop to the floor...what is this?
THIS? THIS CALCULATOR?
No one from the East Side had such a wonder...but this girl...she has one!

It shut them up.
They both claimed they were "kidding" about the dance asking.
To this day, I am not so sure.
I think I really burst someone's bubble.
For the remainder of high school, these two particular boys were always acting strangly around me.
Sometimes I wonder.
I think they both were secretly in LOVE with me...at least that is what I tell myself so I feel better.

As for the TI-89, I never really learned how to use it.
It did get my husband through college though. Accounting, who'da thought?

As for me and math? That was the last mathematics class I ever took, it was enough to get me into college and enough that I shouldn't have to take another class until I actually want to graduate. Can't wait for the tutors.

School sucked.

Thanks mom.

One of the many things...

...I envy about mrs. r:

Her bumm. It is small. I know of no such thing.



Myra and I mocking mrs. r's tiny jeans. Really, we were just totally jealous.





I cry.

Can you believe her pants fit on ONE of my thighs? Oi.

Sending you love today mrs. r. And love to yer bunz.

I honestly think...

...that today, this changed my life.

Ya, I am still alive...sorta.

I *could* say this has been the busiest week of my life, but I KNOW I have had busier.

I also know that it is not going to stop until Friday afternoon, so I am trying not to contemplate on it too much or I will end up in a straight jacket.

Not that the busy has been bad, it has just been, well, BUSY. And, I am tired. Very tired.
BUT I will survive, I always do.

So I will end with this, as I was going through some photos today, I came across these:

My three year old was CLEANING THE BATHROOM.
All on her own.
She moved the stuff to the side, scrubbed down the sink, and the countertops,
(and even the toilet lid...I stopped her from going further).
She was so stinkin' proud of herself.
And I thought she was the most adorable thing on the planet.

Also, she said to me today, (I kid you not, EVERY WORD):

"Mom, sometimes I say that Heavenly Father punishes us (huh?! Where did this come from?) but Heavenly Father doesn't punish us. He just likes to give us rings on our cupcakes."

Truer words...did someone say cupcake?

What the?

Sometimes, especially this week, I cannot fathom why so many seemingly terrible things are happening all around me. Happening to AMAZING people. Ugh.

I hate seeing my friends hurting.
In the course of two weeks I have seen a friend lose a baby, another deal with her baby being very, very sick in the NICU, another friend struggle with legal stuff as well as wondering if her husband will ever find his dream job. Friends I have never met, making decisions about cancer, something no parent should ever have to make. This is just the tip of the iceberg really, I could go on and on and on and on.

Then, things in my own life that I wish would just go away, keep coming back up, like bad Italian.
Seriously, when is enough, enough?

I don't have the answer to that. I wish I did. I had the opportunity to see an old friend tonight. I haven't seen her for 9 years. It was BOMB. The funny thing is, we got talking about my year last year...dood, people, it sucked! It sucked ace. Let's be honest, if this blog wasn't Rated PG13, I may be dropping a few f'bombs about how my year was.

It kills me to think back on it...while at the same time,
I feel so victorious over it.

The trials that seemed to weigh me down, the holes in my walls as proof, now stand as medals of courage and valor, and reminders of where we have come from...and that no matter how bleak things look, there is time to heal the wounds.

Time to break free and hope for something better.
That is it never the answer to give up, but to keep fighting.
Because we all know how cool it is to be a winner.
How thankful I am to finally be on the other side for awhile...to give my hope and heart to those who need it so badly.

I just wanted my friends to know tonight how much I love them.
How often I think of them, and pray for them, and hope for them, and wish the best for them.

• Those who are waiting for babies, both through adoption, and through pregnancy, or hoping for pregnancy.
• Those who have lost their babies do to death and other tragedy.
• Those praying with swollen eyes over their babies whose future is still uncertain.
• Those who watch daily, their little one suffering with cancer (damn brain tumors, damn them!) and are not sure how many more days they will have with their six year old.
• Those who are seeking for peace and finality in their hope to be a forever family.
• Those who really would like to tell their boss to suck it so they can feel a grander scope of what this world has to offer...something other than limbo. (I hate limbo.)

Just praying for you...all of you, with all of my heart. All of it, not one spot left for anything but.

How come...

...after I just finished watching
The Biggest Loser,
I only want to eat
cupcakes?

My kid! Argh!

So, I am having a little problem today with my youngest. She is the sweetest, most gentile, and loving little being so today really came as a shock to me and I am trying to understand why and what to do with her.

After Family Home Evening tonight, which consisted of eating dinner outside, playing, and pulling all the weeds in our new baby grass, I decided our treat would be to walk down to the 7-11 and get Slurpees.

My first mistake was staying outside with Memms and the bikes. (I should have gone inside with Hubbs and J-Man. There was this guy outside the sev with his dog, and he was obviously walking his dog (I have seen him many times.) Anyway, he is a very over-weight guy. Very. So, I start chatting with him a bit...we both say hello, yada, yada, yada. Then, as he is leaving with his headphones on (me praying he didn't hear what came out of Memms mouth) she says:

"Mom! That guy is SO fat!"

She said it loud. I start bawling. Where on earth did my little girl learn this? I know in my husband's culture, his parents are always making one comment or another about how people look (this infuriates me btw) and I am wondering what kinds of things are being said when I am not with my children. I can't help but wonder if this is where she picked it up? Or is it just something that she learned on their own? I am not looking to blame, I just feel awful.

As I gained my composure, Hubbs came out to inform me that they were out of Coke Slurpee and that Memms and I needed to come in and choose a flavor.

He looks at me and I recount what had just happened.
We sit down and have a talk with her, about how it hurts people when we call them names, etc.
(She is the queen of getting upset when people call her names, albeit nicknames, whatnot...she HATES it.)
So anyway, I am HOPING she got it...and praying that this man did not hear her.

Have you ever encountered this with your children? How did you get over feeling like you were the worst parent of all time?

I am going to go eat my king sized candy bar I got instead of a Slurpee, I feel like crawling in a hole and dying of mortification. Maybe if I do this, she will make the comment to me and not so someone else. And believe me, I already know how big my butt is, she has told me. Oi.

Too many days without Prozac.

I hate talking about it. I hate admitting I need them.

I thought I was doing so good.

I had weaned myself off unknowingly.

Then I realized this evening that I really need to keep taking them.

I am super weepy. Obscenely grouchy. And, ULTRA sensitive.

So, tonight, I took one. I am praying that once they hit my system in the next few days I can feel like I can breathe again. How did I ever live without this little kiss of wonder? It hasn't been that long, maybe a week, but dang Gina.
I can't stand admitting I am weak, but perhaps if I do, then maybe others in my situation won't feel so alone, like I feel now.

Tonight I almost wigged out on Hubbs. Well, in my mind I wigged out on him good. I would say "poor guy" but he is fine. Tee hee.
I am SO angry and upset over something so silly.

Why oh why was I cursed with such Biznatchiness?
Is it hereditary?
Am I alone? Please, please tell me I am not. :(
Or perhaps maybe I am just depressed because all of the Easter candy is gone?


ENOUGH of that...

As for happier things, I just totally updated my photography logos, bid'nez card and blog thanks to this lady. Thank you Leisha...you are amazingly talented, I highly suggest you use her!

You may have noticed over yon <------ That I have this cool new button that takes you to my uber cool photography blog. Why just the photography blog you ask? Well, because I am officially announcing that in June 2009 I will have a website up and running. MY website up and running! (I am SUPER excited and stoked at the possibilities.) I can't wait to stare at it all the time. But for now, get your fix here:

(Clicky, clicky.)

Check back often, I have lots of fun sessions coming in the next week...some had to wait because they were surprises. Shhh.

Heart you peeps!

Easter-Licious.

I love, love, LOVE this time of year.
Everything about it.
The rain, the newness of EVERYTHING, the candy.

Oh the candy.

But what I love the most, is watching my kids and all of the excitement they bring back to the simple things in life. Like coloring eggs:

And eating them. Yumm.

So thankful for the plan. Thankful for the sacrifice.

So very much want to have these littles forever...and oh how I plan to!

Easter is the bomb.