Casual Blogger Conference...are you going to go with me?

Friends!
I just signed up to attend the CBC with mrs. r in May.

I am STOKED for this conference.
I want you to come with me!
It is going to be LEGIT.

Some RAD local bloggers will be speaking, people like CJane and Loralee...and Vanessa, and Kristina,
and, AND, A N D
My! BFF! CASEY!
as well as loads of other really rad bloggers.

Two of whom I have met IRL already...one I can't wait to meet.
We all need a party...so come and hang out with me. I need a jolt awake back into my blogging groove...don't you?
Also, who doesn't like swag and to party it up away from the kids from time to time?

<--------sign up to come with me over there! Let's meet IRL if we haven't yet. xoxo

Home Made Bump-its

Have you seen that commercial for bumpits?

Well, my kids have. And apparently they have seen it a lot.
I caught them the other day making home-made bumpits.
(I am not sure if I am more disturbed that bumpits is one word
(think bum-pits)
or just disturbed period?)

See for yourself:







I about died when my friend Jon saw these and was all, "Is that a bumpit?!"
Hilarity.
According to J-Dawg this was the "Hollywood Tall Bumpit".
After eating lunch in Provo last week, and I saw all the hair...I am wondering if Utah County is the number one buyer in the country of bumpits.
(love you Utah County!)

Still rolling.

Tell me YOUR bumpit story.

Yoga Master

Film goodness, shot on Fuji 400H

Namaste.

Hoping to Adopt- Josh & Kenna

Well, hello! We are Josh and Kenna. This year we will be finishing up our 4th year of marriage, and we are currently on the path towards our first adoption. Our path towards parenthood was not meant to be short or traditional, but we have embraced adoption as we have seen it work miracles in our own lives as well as many others. We know this is what years of infertility have lead us to and we are grateful and excited.

Josh & I are easy going individuals. We love being outside, especially the beach. Josh loves to ride the waves on his boogie board and I like to lay out in the sun with my ipod. If we aren't outside, we are inside watching a good flick or engaging in some healthy Wii competition. We love to be active and to spent time with our family and friends.

We can't wait to welcome a sweet little to our family!

If you would like more information about Josh and Kenna, please visit their blog here:

http://shumwayadoption.blogspot.com

How big is YOUR heart? Guest Blogger: J-Dawg

I wanted to tell you a story about my Uncle Jason.

He was the same age as my mom.
I wish I had a picture of me with Jason.

He was born with a special heart.
He was born with Pulmonary Atresia.
That is a fancy way of saying that he was born with no pulmonary valve.
His artery was also not attached properly.
My grandma told me about it, but it is hard to understand.
She told me that they were using part of a pig's heart to help him to live a long and happy life. The reason I don't have a photo of me and Uncle Jason, is because he died during the operation. He was only one year old.

This week my school is doing a fundraiser for the
American Heart Association
to help kids who were born with special hearts like my Uncle.

My mom knows a lot of people with special hearts.

She was telling me that the AHA Research is responsible for so many things:

Heart Bypass
Heart Attack Recovery
Open Heart Surgery
High Cholesterol Medications
CPR
Automated External Defibrillators
New Heart Valves
Pacemakers
Heart Transplant

Will you help me raise $100 for the American Heart Association?

Click here to donate through my web page

If you do, it will help people like my friends:

Weston
Duston's wife
My Uncle Jason
My daddy's Uncle Mel who lived 10 more years because of a successful heart transplant

And many more!

Thanks a bunch...and I promise to jump really good.
I am practicing all the time.

Love,

J-Dawg

My Life as Tetris

It is interesting how my thoughts run wild at two a.m.


*this photo has nothing to do with the post, but only with how my brain feels right now

I made the mistake tonight at about midnight (when I was having trouble sleeping already) to pull out my journal. The old skool kind. All I really wanted was to find a piece of paper to write my husband a note. I was feeling too lazy to go back downstairs where I knew there was paper. After sifting through my nightstand drawers, and coming across the journal...I opened it up. I didn't go through the pages I had written, but rather rummaged through the little pieces stuck into the front and back covers.

There were polaroids of me and my kids.
Photos of Hubbs and I shortly after we were married.
There were some notes from Hubbs, and a birthday card.

There was also a stack of five papers stapled together.
A collection of thoughts from my father writing about his brother Mike who
took his own life when he was 24 years old.

24.

I recall tucking it away years ago after it was given to me.
I am pretty certain my dad gave it to me.
I remember reading it for the first time the day they were given to me,
but it was painful to read.

I remember my uncle Mike vaguely.
I remember I was only four when he died.
I remember his exotic birds.
I remember his 15 speed road bike.

I remember visiting him a few times with my dad. That is a lot to remember when you are only four. I also remember his funeral. I remember the smells and sounds and pictures in my mind from the evening of the viewing.

I knew better than to read through these sheets of paper in the middle of an already sleepless night. But there I was, unable to find a blank piece of paper to write down some thoughts...so I read what was in front of me.

I didn't know my dad's mother's middle name was Lucy.
I really wish I had known that when I named Millz.
I would have given her that name.
See, these five sheets of paper are filled with some awful, heart-wrenching things.
Things that kids should not have to endure.
Suffice it to say that my grandmother herself once told me as we sat on a porch swing with little six month old J-Man in my arms:

"Kim, you are a good mom. I never was a good mom. I was good at having the baby and that was it. I was an especially bad mother to Mike."

Our relationship with my dad's mom is an interesting one.
If you can understand her saying the things she said to me on that swing, you may understand why my uncle killed himself. Regardless, I love her. I love her very much.

That got me thinking about the pattern of my life.
The game of Tetris if you will.
How the choices that my grandmother made...formed and shaped
the pieces and lives of her children.
I am a firm believer that we can make anything of ourselves, despite how we are raised, or in any condition in which we grow up.

Opposition can do two things...it can make us stronger if we let it, or it can weaken us.
I think sometimes when we are playing the game of life we get SO fed up with the game that we hit the down button and let the pieces pile up until they reach the top of the screen,
and then game. over. If we are lucky, we get to start again...but...
If we choose to, really deeply, we can do the opposite...stretch, turn, twist, and rotate those pieces to fit nicely together until we create a bigger and stronger foundation.

We are very much products of our environment.
I wonder sometimes where I would be now had my energy been put forth into other things besides getting over my parents divorce, or my dad's imprisonment.
I wish that I didn't have to feel like I have been running for the past two years trying to catch my breath from some very challenging trials.

It has, however made for a much more interesting life.
It has stretched me and strengthened me to keep pushing to the next level.

I am really sad that I outlived my uncle. I am sad that he never got to see 25, 26, 27, or 28. That he never got to work through his struggles and emotional sadness and possibly make a better life for himself and for any future family he may have had.

It wasn't happen chance I came across those five papers tonight.
They were the answer to a prayer in my heart.
The prayer to live each day to the fullest.
To try harder, run faster, and love deeper.
Be a better mother, prove it can be done, no matter the difficulty.
And to never give up.

And really...who doesn't love a good game of Tetris?

Miracles are REAL!

If you don't believe me...I have a

Testimony of that.

Happy Valentine's Day.
Heavenly Father is amazing.
xoxo

Allison is the BOMB...please vote for her!

Remember when I asked you to vote for my friend Allison the last time?



(photo taken from Allison's blog. Allison, need more photos of YOU.)

Well...you did...would you do it again?

Vote here

Third video down entitled:

inspire me mexico

I think she is totally rad. She deserves this.
and WE are all rad, and can do great things when we help each other.
Thanks mucho.

And have a kick-a V-day.

xoxo

Pray for Weston

Blatant thievery from Jon's Blog: Image by Jonathan Canlas

Our dear friends Jon and Callie
are up at PCMC in the PICU with their baby Weston.

Weston and Millz are the same age.
(I secretly have them betrothed.)

(You will recall his beautiful photography here.)

Weston was born with Tetrology of Fallot, and is now battling RSV.
RSV on freaking speed. It is bad.

You can read more about it here:

Our Life Right Now - Fuji FP-3000B

Will you please. Please. PLEASE...

Take the time to pray for this sweet, loving family.

Especially pray for Weston and a swift recovery.

It is not a question, but a begging from the bottom of my soul.

Love to Jon, Callie, and the kids.
Squishes and huggs from all of us.

Hoping to Adopt- Jared & Mary

Hello from Jared, Mary & Madison!

Jared and I have been married for almost ten years and we became parents 2 1/2 years ago
when a selfless birthmother placed her baby girl in our arms.

Our little girl is such a joy in our life. We named her "Madison" which means "Gift from God".
We are delighted to have our daughter in our life and we look forward to the day when we
can welcome another child into our family through adoption.

We are not a perfect, but we have plenty of love (and laughs) to share. We have opened
our home to three foster children over the years and we enjoy traveling, watching movies,
spending time outdoors, and hanging out with our families.

To learn more about this beautiful family click here.

film.

Call it third life crisis if you will.

I am 90% sure I am going back to film.

These confirmed it for me.

Love. them. to. bits.

Last Baby Blues

6 months.

Crawling. Yes, crawling.

It has been hard to really get myself to believe that she is our last baby.

It is funny how you come to a decision, it feels so right, and then your heart sometimes doesn't want to let you believe it. Sometimes it is easier to second guess your decisions and choices.

Especially in this case.

Because this one has been so gosh darn sweet, and such a joy to us.
I think she knew how much I needed her to stay small.
She is our most petite baby.

I love every inch of her.

I have her memorized.

Today, I took down the cradle in my bedroom.
She officially shares a room with her big sister.
The first of many long nights chattering with her and telling secrets and talking about boyfriends and school I am sure.

I took the baby swing down, it is in the car waiting to be returned to those from whence the borrowing of it came.

All of the four ounce bottles are packed away in the garage, awaiting the yearly yard sale.

The tiny little clothes except for a few put away for her and sissy are officially given away,
with another batch to go out tomorrow.

Oh how I love this tiny girl. She has brought us so much joy.

Kisses Millz. So thankful for you.

You were worth every second of the wait, every heartache.
I have said it before, and I will say it again, I would do it all over in a heartbeat.

Just stop growing so fast okay?

Freaking INSOMNIA...and that one post I promised.

Dood.

It is three in the fracking morning.

I cannot sleep.
Perhaps it was the four miles I ran in the ffffreezing cold today.

Perhaps it was the chocolate I HAD to eat before my first attempt at going to bed.
(I totally knew better.)

Perhaps it is because there are SO many things I want to do with my family, my photography, my life...
that my head
just! won't! stop!

I knew I should have taken that Tylenol P.M. at midnight. If I had I would be blissfully sleeping right now. Speaking of Tylenol...do you guys want to send me to Blogher '10?!
I am totally looking high and low for someone to sponsor my trip...huh?! Would you???
E-mail me.
(This is an entirely different post altogether. I am not kidding either.)

Okay...onto other things.

Shall we discuss the 'trial of the year', or in our hopes the 'trial of the decade' in hopes we don't E-V-E-R have to go through something so silly EVER again?

Somehow I deleted the email from Hubbs that had all of the deets.
I will try to recall them from my own memory as I laughed my head off as each event occurred (while secretly being terrified for him.)
*Please note, names have been changed to protect the innocent, er the crazy...and everything is via my own account, Hubbs has nothing to do with this post. Hold me accountable for every single word.

So Hubbs had this client who was selling HIS house.
Meaning, the client was
the. only. one. on. the. freaking. title. to. the. house.
Hubbs is an amazing man, I tell you what! He works SO hard at EVERTHING he does, it is incredible. With the economy all slumpy, he has put forth extra effort to make sure he goes the extra EXTRA mile in his work. This means in church, school, and his real estate. ESPECIALLY his real estate.
I think anyone who has worked with him can attest to such.
He amazes me.

Anyway, back to this client, we will call him Jorge*. Jorge had his house listed FOR FREAKING ever. Even before the housing market hit the slopes. Hubbs plugged along with refusal to lower the selling price, on the market, off the market, and so on and so forth. Jorge happened to work out of town A LOT and was NEVER home to make sure the house was in order and ready to be shown. The other problem? Jorge's mom. We will call her Mama* a.k.a 'the debil' yes the deBil. I like it like that.

Mama lived in Jorge's house. Mama was crazy. As in certifiably crazy. She refused to let anyone in the house. ANYONE. She was certain that people coming to see the house were going to take her things (understandable...but let's be honest there was probably nothing worth taking). She did her best to make sure the house would. not. sell. The only times the house was able to be shown was if Jorge happened to be in town.

On a number of occasions Hubbs would stop by the house, and Mama would attack him verbally with all sorts of interesting phrases. Once this home hit the 1+ year on the market and it went under contract despite Mama and her attempts to sabotage such...she became 'evil, wicked, mean and nasty' to the tenth power.

One day in particular Hubbs went to meet with Jorge to sign papers or something, and Mama had ruined his brand new lock box...she had spray painted it...trying desperately to make it unusable so that no one would have further access to HER house.

While Hubbs was there she took a brick to said box and began pummeling it...Hubbs tried to convince her to stop and then said brick was then thrown into Hubbs direction.
Luckily for Hubbs and his glasses, Mama was a poor shot.
When said brick neglected to connect with Hubbs, Crazy Mama grabbed a water bottle and ran across the lawn and slapped Hubbs in the face with said water bottle.
That is when Jorge tackled Mama to the ground.

Now, do you see where this is going?
Hubbs probably should have gone to the police.
Hubbs is SO nice he did nothing of the sort.
He just talked to Jorge, went about his job and healed from this attempted head smashing.

Me? Well I had no idea ANY of this was going on.
Hubbs never let me in on it until...

Daaaaaa daaaaaa daaaaa....

(Commence scary, theatrical music.)

The day the new owners were suppose to move in, and Crazy Mama
had barricaded herself into 'HER' house.
Long story short, and several hours later
(on J-dawgs birthday I might add...thanks for ruining an important day for us Crazy Lady.) after the police were called in to take her from the premises...she finally had the choice to go to jail, or to go home with another of her son's.
She finally chose to go with her other son.
Sadly, at this point no one wanted to take care of her.
Very sad actually.

...one month after the closing we get a knock on our door late one night.

A man.
Serving us with papers.

Crazy Mama was suing Hubbs for $10,000.
Gulp.
I felt faint, a little dizzy, and a little more than absolutely clueless as to why.

I paced back and forth, I couldn't sleep that night.
Then Hubbs begins to tell me all about these stories, in more detail.

Two months pass and trial day comes.
Luckily we were 90% sure that this lady had no case.
But still in the back of our minds we were really scared at what could possibly happen to our little family if she won.

She didn't win.
Poor thing.
Even after attempted mediation, she still went before the judge...and he still ruled in our favor.

Hubbs?
Well, after the trial, he and his broker and his broker's wife sat in the courtroom and talked for three hours to this Crazy Mama...who was basically homeless and living in her car.
They talked about ways to help her try to find a place to live.\

FOR THREE HOURS

Tears.

That was two weeks ago.

Even today Hubbs was on the phone trying to track her down.
No one can find her.
Her sons won't answer their phones, nor return messages from Hubbs or the broker.
Hubb's broker is also trying to find her to no avail.
It is so sweet, words cannot express my love for my sweet husband
and all he is doing for this woman.

My point?

I am thankful that we won and did not have to shell out 10k to Mama.

I am thankful I married such an amazing guy.



And if you need to sell your home or buy a new home,
he is your guy.

Just promise not to throw any bricks at him please.
I kind of really like his face the way it is.

Grammy.

I have been editing photos all week.

MY photos.

It has been a long time coming.

I came across this one today.
I love it.
I love everything about it.

I love this lady.
Thankful she was there to take care of my brother and I when my mom needed her.
She is amazing.
She misses her sweetheart more than anything.

I came across those photos again too.

I miss him.

Just needed to get that out.

Hope ya'll are having a good day.
I am in a bit of a funk.
Hopefully I can blog about some funny shee in a few days.

Scam-a-lam-a Ding Dong

This post dedicated to never having to lie to my children EVER again.
Thank you for the picture Leisha.

Remember this post?

Update here.

You really, REALLY, R-E-A-L-L-Y
don't want to miss out on reading it.

"Chelsia" I just want you to know that I did get your e-mail last year.
(It surprisingly made it past the blockade I built around you and into my junk e-mail folder.)
It was a miracle that we were able to read it.

I had forgiven you at that point.
I still forgive you.
I accepted your apology and was thankful for it.

There was just a part of me that didn't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing that.

Now you do.

Hope you are telling the truth and that you find happiness in your heart and in your life.

I hope you dance.

What I would have given to have a dad like him.

He really is the best.

I love him to pieces.

The scary thing is,
before I turn around twice these two will be dancing at her wedding.

Thankful for the Promise.

So thankful.

My Millz.

Just checked my mail.

As in, the old skool kind.

Had a pleasant surprise from Crystalyn today.

Thank you.

I had forgotten she was ever this small.

Love you.

Blogging Blitz

Hi there.

I have some schtuff brewing around in my little head.



I need your help tho.

This year I want to do some things differently on this here blog.
My goal is to advocate for adoption more, and to help spread the word that there are SO many parents looking for children, on the flip side, there are also so many children looking for families. I am certain many of you know my good friend mrs. r she is the bomb.
I want to be like her when I grow up, so this is my small way of doing just that.

SO twice a month I want to highlight a family that is hoping to adopt.
Do you want me to highlight you?
Awesome.
Do you want to be added over here:
<-----------------------------------------------------------?
Awesome.

If you have been placed with and or had a baby recently and you are on that list...can I remove you for a little while to highlight those who are hoping for a child right now?

Can you help me to update that list?

Awesome.

email me: kimsueellen{at}gmail{dot}com

Come back soon, for the bloggity blogging blitz is gonna start.
and there is SO much more than adoption going to be talked about.
We will start off with the trial of the YEAR involving my husband.
Hilarity you won't want to miss.

Ready? Set?

GO!

Heavy Heart

My mind and thoughts have been consumed heavily with
Natalie, Richie, and their sweet family this week.

There are lots of things I need to blog.
Lots of things to tell you about.
But all of those seem so insignificant.

It has been difficult to think of anything but them.

While I hope to never understand fully what they are feeling, I do know my own personal hell in the loss of our baby almost two years ago. Perhaps this is why Nat is on my mind continually.

Even then I can't imagine loving and holding and kissing your baby
and then to have to let him go.

I have been hugging my three babies close to me, we have been cuddling on the couch more, playing more games, and taking the time to truly cherish all of our blessings.
I hope you are doing the same.

We know and understand that life is precious.
How thankful we are for a plan that will allow us to all be reunited with those we love.

I ask for your continued love and prayers and support to this sweet family.

I am taking the weekend off from blogging and e-mail,
to truly enjoy the blessings I have.

Until Monday.

All my love.

Tiny Gavin

pic courtesy of natalie's blog

Please send your love their way.

No one should have to endure this.

No one.

Natalie's faith is amazing and inspiring.
Let it change you.

Pray like you have never prayed before...

pic courtesy of natalie's blog

I have been watching this story unfold via twitter and facebook throughout the last week.

I met Natalie two years ago at the Film is Not Dead workshop in Hawaii.

I immediately liked Natalie, she and I had a lot in common.
I recall discussing adoption with her during that workshop...she and I were in similar boats and circumstances when it came to building our families.

Happily and miraculously, 8 weeks ago she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy whom she named Gavin after her brother who had passed away.

Baby Gavin is in the hospital at this moment fighting for his life.
He has Pertussis.
Also known as whooping cough.

What Natalie doesn't know is that as I have been reading her tweets and facebook, part of me has wanted to turn away...reliving too well the moments my nine day old Memms was admitted to Primary Children's Hospital at the tiny age of nine days...she also had RSV and they were throwing around all sorts of things at me like Pertussis...and Whooping cough.
(luckily for Memms the incubation period of Pertussis was before her birth...so she only had RSV to deal with.)

This baby Gavin has much more on his tiny shoulders.

Will you PLEASE...PLEASE...PLEASE pray for him?

Pray like you never have before.

I cannot bear to watch my friend go through this alone, but if we all can pray, she can feel our love for her and this little boy can pull through.

Thanks you guys.

All my love Natalie.

ALL. OF. IT.

Welcoming 2010 with a Grateful Heart

My heart has been full the last week.
Full of love for a few of my very dearest friends.
Full of gratitude for the miracles that surround us each and every day.
Both the large and the small.

First, I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven for blessing my dear friend Sue.
She has been such a dear and amazing friend to me since I can remember. She had an accident two weeks ago, in which through crazy bits of circumstances almost cost her her life.

I am amazed at the protection that was upon her
these past two weeks.
I was able to spend the afternoon with her yesterday. Seeing her alive, and well made me ever so grateful to our loving Heavenly Father who blessed her and protected her, and allowed me to continue to have the blessing of her friendship on this earth.

Many tears were shed as I marveled in awe of her quick healing. Her accident made me realize just how much I value her friendship, how thankful and lucky I have been to have her example in my life, and I don't want to take that for granted EVER again. I vowed to be a better friend to her and to all of my friends, because life is short...and sometimes life is cut short.

Today is the day to act...to love...to serve.

Secondly, I had the opportunity to spend a few days this week in Washington D.C. with two of my besties.

Leisha, and mrs. r.

Words cannot express the gratitude I have felt for the blessings that the closing of 2009 brought to my heart on behalf of mrs. r and her family.

I was able to witness the sealing of sweet little
Gavin
to his parents and to his big brother Tyson.

Tears streamed down my cheeks the entire night before as I felt the power of such a miraculous event, many of you have read throughout the year.

I, of all people understand the pain and anguish that comes from trial after trial...if you don't know what I am talking about, just go back and read my entire year of 2008.

Leisha, mrs. r and I joke often about how 2008 sucked for me...2009 for mrs. r,
and hoping beyond hope that 2010 is good for ALL of us...including YOU dear reader.

The power of eternal families was once again renewed in my heart as I watched this sweet family become sealed in the beautiful temple. The day was perfect...really it was.
(My photos on the other hand? Maybe not so much...thankful Leisha was there to capture it all with me.)

Life is sweet. I hope you can taste the sweetness that is there.

May 2010 and the years to come bring you much happiness and joy.
Please remember miracles have not ceased.
They will continue to flow....even in the darkest of times.
Hold onto that.

Much love.

Of Old Ladies ,Teenagers and er Thirty Somethings.

I started the training for this today.

I. am. beat.

Due to the freezing cold temperatures here in my hometown, I have had to resort to getting a membership to our local family fitness center.
I ran on an indoor track today.

One mile is 11 times around the track.

That is 33 laps.

Thirty. Three.

My mind is still numb.

There has to be a better way.
Pedometer.

Until then, it will be me, my iPod, and the numbers going through my head...
lap 1...lap 2...lap 3...etc...

While I am certainly tired, I am excited to be on this journey again.
I had forgotten how much I love running for the sheer ME time it allows.

There is something about spending an hour or more with yourself,
meditating and conversing.
(Is it possible to meditate while running?)

I was able to release a lot of pent up frustration and problem solve a few things.

When I wasn't problem solving, I kept my eye on the random
mop buckets strewn about the track.
Three to be exact.
They were red.
Were they there because the roof happens to have leaks at those particular points?
Or perhaps they were there in case someone needed to puke?
(I would be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind that I may have to puke in them...I actually have been feeling all day the need to puke since my three miles this morning.)

Random.

Other thoughts?

How come that girl who looked to be about 13 was out lapping me repeatedly?
Every time she would pass me, I just kept thinking...
"I am almost 30." "I don't got it anymore."
PROOF I am getting...eek O-L-D

Then...toward lap 25 an older lady with silver hair pushing a walker got on the track...and for the next 8 laps, it felt SO good to pass her repeatedly.

Pathetic
is having 13 year old pass BOTH me and the old lady at the same time.
I'm just going to pretend that didn't happen.

What are you all up to after all the holiday goodness?

Nine Years and a Million More

The time has flown by.

NINE years.

It feels so strange to say that. It feels like just yesterday I met this amazing man.

So, in honor of our ninth year anniversary,
I will share with you the story of how we met.

Hubbs and I met shortly after his mission for
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
He had served his mission in Anaheim, California. He was 22 years old,
I was 18.
YES 18.

I was still in high school!

I would leave school at 2:10 p.m. and basically speed (yes...SPEED) to make it the ten miles to be to my full time job at 2:30 p.m.

How many high school kids do you know that go to school all day then go straight to work and don't get home until 10 at night? Not many.

I did it. I did it for 6 months during my senior year.

It was rough.

Anyway, to make a really long story even shorter, I didn't work most Thursday nights because I had a clinical class for nursing assisting that I had to attend on Thursdays. So the first day of training for a new area of this job happened to be on a Thursday. I came into work on Friday, and during our meeting everyone was jabbering on and on and on about the trainer. How he wore a pink polo shirt, and his name was "Fabio" and how gay he must be.

Hilarious, I laughed along, thinking how funny it was, and a wee bit sad I missed out on the pink shirt because I had been gone. I knew I wouldn't have the chance to meet this Fabio because I wasn't going to be doing phone work with the rest of the group.

As I walked to the computers that day after our group meeting, one of my good friends from training convinced me in about 30 seconds that the phone work was REALLY easy and SO much better than the computers. If any of you know me, you know that in high school I was HIGH ANXIETY.

The fact that I even went to sit down and learn the phones was an amazing feat.

Anyway, I sat down and shortly after met the famed Fabio.

No pink shirt (to my dismay).
I did, however notice that he was wearing a CTR ring.



This convinced me that he probably wasn't gay,
and that perhaps there was some explanation for his pink shirt.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I noticed he would always talk to this old lady.
I thought it was super weird because he was so young and always spent his time
with this other woman.
(this woman turned out to be his MOM.)

Our seats were not assigned either so my friends and I would move around quite often. One day my friend said to me,

"Kim, don't you notice that Fabio always sits next to you?"

I hadn't really noticed up until that point, I just thought he was being nice and helpful. Tee hee. I did notice him on breaks and stuff that he would often be in close proximity to me. After that I started to notice that he took every opportunity to be by me.

A few weeks later I had some Pepperidge Farm cookies in my bag, and I asked Fabio if he wanted some...so I shared.

That began our deep conversations.

He asked me that night if I wanted to 'hang out' and go bowling with him and some of his friends.

I had to politely decline (it was a school night and my curfew was basically when I got off work).

He had no clue what a 'curfew' was.

Strike one for Fabio.



A couple days later, he asked me to 'hang out again'.

I finally got the idea that this guy had a THING FOR ME!

AHHHH. I wanted nothing to do with him. He was 22, and was only looking for a wife.

I was 18, and I had SO many plans. College, mission, backpack Europe. Etc...etc.

Marriage was THE furthest thing from my mind. My parent's marriage had ended in divorce and I was kind of anti-marriage at that point in my life.

Strike two for Fabio.



Again, he asked me out...

Strike three.

I have to tell you at this time in my life, I REALLY was busy an I had LEGITIMATE excuses to be turning this young man down.

I really didn't want to date him, he was from Brazil, and had a great accent, and he was kind of cute, but needed some serious wardrobe help...and really I didn't want to deal with it.

Strike four.

The poor guy asked me out FOUR times and I said NO each and every time.




The time came for my little group of trainees to move to another building. There was this small part of me that felt bad for this guy who had tried so hard to ask me out.

On the last night we were in the same building, I wrote my number down on a piece of paper and slid it to him.

I apologized for always being too busy to 'hang out' with him and told him to call me sometime.

I was pretty sure he wouldn't call.

I think I was hoping he wouldn't.

He called two days later.




I picked up the phone and it was Flavio!

He called wanting to know if I could go out and I said YES.

He was SO stunned that he stammered and sputtered.
(he hadn't even planned a date...so sure I was going to say no.)

He asked me to go to a birthday party of one of HIS Brazilian friends, and said:

"Do you want to meet me there?"

I said, "Well, that would be great except I have no idea who your friend is, and you are asking me out so you probably should come and pick me up."

Poor Flav.



He came and picked me up later that evening. I kept looking out the window for some atrocious beater car. When a super sporty red car pulled in front of my house and Flavio got out, I was floored.

Say what?!

Home Run.



We went out.

Here is where I would like to tell you it was the most romantic date ever.

It wasn't.

It was horrible.

We spent the evening with 30 or so Brazilians who spoke only Portuguese.

Not the best first date for someone who only knows English.

He took me home that night and I vowed not to do that again.

He called me the next week.

I decided to give him ONE more chance.



I am so glad that I did.

Our second date was the best I have ever been on.

I knew that night that this man was going to be my eternal companion.

Really. I. Did.

Strange but true.

Nine months later we were married.

I was still 18.



It was the best decision I ever made.

I love you sweet 'Fabio'.

So thankful for you.

Nine years.

3 Kids. 1 Angel.

and a hope for a million more years together.

Happy Anniversary Love.

I NEED MORE!!!

e-mail me

and I will send you an address where you can send me copious amounts of
YOUR
pass along cards.

I assure you they will be going all over the country...and maybe even the world.

Huggs.

kimsueellen [at] gmail [dot] com

"The 'breastfast' of champions."

A story of weaning.

5 months

That is it. It is all I can do. It is the farthest I have gotten with any of my babies.

I feel kind of 'meh'.

I want my body back.

Selfish I know.

Part of it probably has something to do with the fact I am flying with my sweet baby in about two weeks, and I really, REALLY don't feel comfortable nursing while I sit in the middle of two complete strangers.

Really? I know teeth are coming and I am afraid.

Also? I am really fat.

Like, REALLY.

Like, I have never been so big in my ENTIRE life.

This makes me sad.

My body holds onto every gram of fat I put into it, like a squirrel gathering nuts for winter, my body thinks that it must not let any of it go for fear it can't produce enough milk for this little one.



Do I feel guilty? A tiny bit.

JUST a tiny bit.

(I feel more guilt about the day we pierced her ears...now that is a tragedy.)

I do know however that I am going to be a MUCH better mom when I am not so stressed about whether or not she is getting enough, or that I have to be home within three hours from the exact time I leave the house. A little excited that maybe I can sleep through the night one of these weekends when my husband doesn't work, as this sweet face STILL wakes up every three hours at night. I am a zombie.

Love this sweet tiny thing. She brings me so much joy. Thank you Millz for not making me feel guilty when I gave you that bottle of formula for the first time in your little life today.

Thank you for drinking it right down and
smiling
through it all.

Just what I needed, you are definitely a champ.

This is Familiar

The instant I held Millz in my arms for the first time,
she was familiar.



At first, I wasn't sure if it was because she looked so much like her brother and sister,
or if it was because
SHE herself was familiar.

Of course, it was because she was familiar.

The first few days and weeks that she was a part of our home, a part of our lives,
she brought an
air of familiarity
to our hearts.



This tiny girl was the reason, the push, the drive of the previous three years. She was the one standing behind the veil SCREAMING for us to not give up on her. It was her spirit begging for us to not give up hope for another child to come to our home. It was her. She wanted so badly to come to us...and when she was finally here, it was with the simple, sweet, enduring ways of a baby that I realized as her mother that I already knew her inside and out.

I KNEW HER.

She. Was. Familiar.



As I look back on the almost five months since she came to us, I am in awe of her spirit. Her happy face, and the sweet love that she has for us.

She was worth Every tear. Every heartache. Every loss.

Every. Single. One.

I would do it all again for her.

To my friends still 'waiting' or still 'finding' or still 'hoping'...
don't give up.

Your 'Familiar' is waiting, standing behind an unseen veil,
waiting and hoping just as hard as you are!

She is proof:

Ross the Intern and My Grandpa Jerry

I have forgotten the hilarity of Ross the Intern
when he crossed paths with my Grandpa Jerry a few years back.

It wasn't until some friends and I were discussing when

Ross met Danny,

the newest winner of The Biggest Loser on Tuesday night.
How that Ross had us in stitches.

My Grandpa Jerry, (my dad's stepdad) passed away a few years ago.

Go and enjoy the hilarity for yourself:

HERE

Is the last thing Jerry says to Ross not the funniest thing you have EVER heard?

I miss him. I know my brother misses him dearly.

What a treasure this video is.

Back to Work--

--ing Out.

I had about two weeks to work out hard between having Millz and before my surgery,
which put me out from almost no exercise for another six weeks.

It has been hard on me.

The last four months have just been one lazy, messy, day after another. Last week was the week when the red light turned to green, which meant I needed to get my lazy ars off of the couch...
(not that it spends much time there anyway with three little ones.)

So, Friday I started my exercise routine, three weeks before I start training for THIS.
(still waiting on word if I got in though, cross your fingers.)
It is not too late to get in on it too...sign up for the lottery...training starts Dec 27!
Get your super fab shirts here.

Anyway, today I tried the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.

Holy Bananas.

I got this DVD for a STEAL only $10 on a Target sale (my fave store) and holy mother.

I hurt.

I never realized 20 minutes could hurt so good.

I think I just might be able to get back into this work--ing out thing again.

As for 'real' work?
Ya I've been doing that too.

Check it out here.

Huggs.

Fighting back the tears...

...of JOY.



So, yesterday was J-Man's FIRST official SEP.

Call it what you would like:
"Student Educational Plan"
"Parent Teacher Conference"

It is what it is.

Seeing how it was J-Man's first...that automatically means, it was also MY first (as a parent).

We got to the school, sat across from his teacher, and she just goes on and on at what a great boy J is.

How sweet he is.
How kind he is.
How SMART he is.
How helpful he is.
How loving he is.
How he helps her SO much.
How she rarely gives '5''s...but how he had almost ALL 5's

I did not doubt that he would be just as good at school as he is for me.
I had to try really hard to fight back the tears of joy that I felt for my little man.

He is a rock.

Upon leaving she told Jothan:

"Come around the table and give me a hug."

Which he did. She proceeded to whisper lots of things in his ear, finishing off with what I assume was the question:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

He promptly replied:

"A missionary."

First on his list. I don't know where he gets it.
The tears spilled over.

I love this little man.
So proud of the person he is becoming.