Blatant honesty of a mom who suffers from depression, and all encompassing love for her family. Mix in a little 'past', lots and lots of humor and a lot of hope, and simply put, you get Simply Me.
Who wouldn't right? Well my totally cute and completely awesome friends are trying to sell their condo in West Valley City, UT.
DEETS:
If you are the one to REFER someone to buy their condo the money is YOURS once the papers are signed and it is a done deal!!
$150 if you refer a Tenant/ $500 if you refer a buyer once the papers are signed.
Newly Remodeled Condo in West Valley City, Utah. Cheaper than Rent! Seriously. $89,500.00 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, Kitchen Appliances included, Hookups for Washer/Dryer, Top level with patio, Good area. $800/month for Rent. Does not Include utilities.
Also, I am on the mend. Was on my death bed Saturday night and Sunday morning. Feeling 85% today.
My sweet doctors, both over the phone and the one I saw at the InstaCare (they wanted me to go to the ER...what was THAT about?) both were 90% certain I had this crazy H1N1.
I am not as convinced since I am feeling almost tip top now. But alas, they gave me the Tamiflu and now I am great.
My concern? The
103.7 degree
fever I had on Saturday night, which prompted the InstaCare visit the next day.
No one wants a boiled Millz. Especially me.
So long story short, Tamiflu, Lortab, and a blessing, I am well.
My family? Just as blessed.
Now for this, when I have the baby this will stop and I will cry for days I am sure. She recounts on her fingers who every member of our family is. In this top photo, that is ME...in the bottom photo...
I met her last year in March when I went to Hawaii baybee...to attend the Jonathan Canlas Workshop. Allison is super cute and WICKED (I do mean WICKED) talented.
James* and me circa 2000 (Not the name he goes by, I love to protect the innocent. Heart you James.)
So, do ya'll recall that time I mentioned about the TI 89 in Mr. Reynolds class?
I am here to further detail the horror that was this particular mathematics class for me. New girl, new school, knows NO ONE...sits next to amazingly cute James.
James and I became SUPER great friends. I think in some ways James and I were in similar boats, we kind of both left a lot of our friends behind to go to a new school. James started eating lunch with me and my friend Candie. So we got to know each other really well.
The one thing James had going for him that I didn't... was that his sister was SUPER beautiful and SUPER popular, and also a Student Body Officer...
...so I think that helped him transition better than I did.
Since high school is SO large and full of SO many people and different clubs and stuff, James and I mostly just talked during our Algebra class.
(I think it was Algebra...James is super smart and just graduated as a Pharmacist...see he was SUPER good at math.)
Anyway, this one particular chapter in the book was a struggle for seemingly EVERYONE in the class. We had a test coming up and I studied for it and studied for it to no end, as did James.
The day comes for the test and we all take it with palms sweating and our little index card full of notes.
A few days later Mr. Reynolds, lisp and all hands back the tests to each of us...and I look at my score (it was a GOOD score) and with a HUGE smile on my face turn to James to see how well he had done...
...the entire time knowing he would have it ACED and would have it down.
We concur.
Here is where it went wrong, and hell as we know it broke loose.
I did better than James did on the test. WHAT?!! For the first time in months... ...I DID BETTER THAN JAMES ON A TEST?! IN MATH?!
So instead of being the sweet person I normally was, I start RUBBING in the fact that I did better than James.
Even worse, it carries over into lunch time, and my pride gets the better of me, and in front of many people, I begin to declare my smartiness over James'.
It got so bad. SO BAD.
James has had enough and he yells,
"YOU ARE SUCH A B****!"
...in front of EVERYONE. (wouldn't you have done the same thing?)
I was crushed. Yet, I deserved it more than ANYTHING.
James and I didn't talk for months. I don't even think we talked until the next school year.
I finally fully understood the error of my ways, and apologized for being such a biznatch.
James apologized too, and our friendship was what it was before.
I love me my James. We are still friends to this day, albeit through facebook mostly.
That is okay, I am thankful to know such a smart and talented young man... ...and through the horror of being called a 'B' in front of many of your friends, I learned a valuable lesson:
The past few weeks have been really draining on me mentally as far as work is concerned.
I have been going through that motion of, "Am I good enough?" "Why am I even doing this?!"
Just the normal things I struggle with and have always struggled with (lack of self-confidence maybe? Probably.) I dunno.
I have been praying about it. Heavenly Father and I are pretty tight these days. I really mean this, with no exaggeration.
Take last night for instance. I am on a session in Ogden, UT...the dark, dark storm clouds are coming about a million miles an hour. I commence praying my guts out that the downpour doesn't happen until the session is over.
I joke with the couple, "Don't worry, God and I a pretty tight, and it is not going to rain until we are done with our session." 45 minutes later, as I am getting ready to pose the last shot, it begins to rain. Finish the session, get to my car, and it begins to DOWN. POUR.
Really?REALLY! So, jokingly during the session the wife says to me, "Could you pray for my husband? He is looking for a new job." We both giggle. I say, "SURE! I will tonight." She texts me early this morning to tell me her husband got the job he wanted TODAY! Seriously?SERIOUSLY!
Funny. But true. I am really being silly right now, but the thing that is not silly is that my faith is strong... and I recognize the tender mercies Father has been blessing my little family with.
...and today was no different.
I log into Facebook, and a client from 9 months ago posts this to my wall:
"So we finally have the pictures you took up on the walls here. They look AMAZING. My husband said: "The only problem is they look like they were the pictures that came in the frames." Last night we had the relief society presidency over to visit and the one said: "These are probably the most emotionally charged family pictures I have ever seen." So Thank you! EVERYONE Loves our pictures, even if they are 9 months old :)" Tears.This special lady had NO idea that I was struggling with my feelings and abilities, and here she was an answer to my prayer. I cried for awhile this morning, it was so nice to hear that I have affected people with my photography. That is what I hope to do, to capture a fleeting moment, and make it timeless and forever.
Just wanted to share today, how thankful I am.
...and oh if you need me to pray for you, just let me know in the comments.
Kidding...well, kind of, I am just worried the lightening is going to strike.
You will see the last fact is that the average Slurpee drinker is age 29. That fits in perfectly with the story I am about to tell you, as I teeter on the edge and will be 28 soon.
See, back in November of 2008, after reading some articles on the effects of caffeine, I gave it up COMPLETELY. Cold. Turkey. I had a few days of headaches, but that was it.
Then...well then I discovered I was expecting a baby, and the ONLY thing that I wanted was a Coke Slurpee. So, after much debate and much excuse making, I decided an occasional 20 oz. Coke Slurpee would be okay. It is mostly water and air anyway right?
Well, for the last six months or so, I have been getting 1-3 Coke Slurpees a week, that is until mid April, when, in my opinion all hell broke loose on the Slurpee front.
Apparently our credit card through our bank was compromised sometime in early spring, along with a bunch of other members' cards, so they turned off our card...and they were SUPPOSE to send us new cards...(which they still haven't...)
...so began the money transfer from our joint checking into MY photography checking. That way, we would still have a Visa card to use at the store, the gas pump, and well, you know 7-11 for my Slurpee runs.
The cost of a 20 oz. Coke Slurpee in Utah right now is $1.38. SUPER cheap right? And let's not forget SUPER DELICIOSO! Well, one would think, until I get a text from Hubbs one dreary afternoon stating: "DON'T USE YOUR VISA CARD ANYMORE! THERE ARE TWO CHARGES OF $25 EACH!"
Wha?! WHAT!? Furious I text him back..."HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!" Apparently he transferred all of the money out of my account without telling me...and guess what wasn't covered? My Coke Slurpee.
Commence tears.
Did I really just spend $26.38 on a 20 oz. Coke Slurpee? Tears.
Needless to say, Hubbs claims it was a ploy to get me to stop drinking them. And I haven't since. I am too mad at him, and too mad at the fact I could have had a new shirt instead of a freaking Slurpee. He is forbidden from taking money from my checking account ever again.
Oh man, how I wish I had a Slurpee right now...TEARS.
Although, I must admit thisflavor has caught my eye...although I have never seen one here.
Feeling like a blogging LOSER. Do you guys ever go through a slump? I have been feeling like I have nothing good to share.
I am, however cooking up another "School Daze" post, you will love it. It is the one I like to call, "And I WAS a 'B'!" So stay tuned for that. You won't want to miss it.
So, cuz I feel like a loser, shall we play some Q&A? Ask me anything, about life, photography, life, photography, etc...
...and enjoy a study I did of Memms a few weeks back.
I was just playing around with the jpg setting on my camera, these are SOOC (straight out of camera, 50mm 1.4 @ 1.4 and they are orange...oh well.) ...just wanted to leave you with some goodness.
I am pretty certain I have some of the best kids on the planet.
(We will not discuss the fact that I have had to take them grocery shopping with me the past two weeks and I reconsider this statement each time I get home...and today is grocery day, wish me luck.)
...but for posterity sake, I really do think they are the best.
Found them like this...they were originally sitting on the same chair, as I quietly got my camera, somehow they had shifted and J-dawg was standing.
Bummer.
But here they were, together, quietly coloring...oh how I love them. Love finding them in the moments of being best friends.
Then they saw me and the performances began. "Take a picture of this."
They love depth of field I guess. ;)
Cheeser. Oi.
So anyway, back to feeling accomplished.
We are preparing for our annual yard sale coming up in a few weeks, and thus I needed to clear out every closet, every room.
"Spring Cleaning" at it's best.
I finally got it done on Friday afternoon although things are looking like I need to re-do them starting today. A mother's work is never done right?
So you know we were going to go on vacay for Memorial Day. We ended up staying home all weekend long, which was BLISS.
Hubbs has been working EXTREMELY hard the past few weeks. I know his list of "to do's" is getting terribly long, so I wanted to focus on him and what he would like to do.
Intermingled, of course with a little of what I would like to do. (Like go to breakfast and Village Inn...using a coupon...couponing post to come later, or how about last night eating at Cafe Rio? YUMMY...or the trip to Kid to Kid where I found some amazing things. Let's not discuss the number of Root Beer Floats I consumed Let the record show I really don't like ice cream.)
Ya, ya...back to what Hubbs needed to get done.
After Hubbs spent a few hours in the morning organizing the mess that is "the RV Pad in progress.
He and I spent a couple of hours, and I mean that literally, pulling weeds in our front yard. Our grass is still so baby-ish. We planted it last fall and it is still struggling to look like a lawn. We don't have green thumbs. Anyway, it was the best time we have had in a long time. We rented a movie for the kids and just had at the weeds. We laughed so hard and got so scared when the spiders ran up our legs. (Have you ever seen a 7 month pregnant woman get up so fast from a sitting position? Hubbs has.)
We checked out yard sale after yard sale on Saturday. One of our favorite things to do, which we haven't done in YEARS. It was a blast.
Yesterday? We woke up early and went to our Stake Memorial Day Breakfast. Delish! Then we spent the day cleaning out the garage. Oh gag, how I wonder how it got so bad. I have vowed to never be "that person" who can't park in her garage because it has become a storage unit...which it had, but it is organized 95% now...and we can park in there again. Holla! Best thing? I helped Hubbs cross some things off of his list. That makes me happier than anything else. Love you Hubbs!
What was the best thing about your Memorial Day Weekend?
I never meant for the past month to go by like it did. I meant to be here, blogging as usual, but time and life and emotions slipped away from me as it sometimes does.
The month of May 2009 has been an amazing one. One full of journeys and introspection. It has also been one of being stuck on the outside looking in on people I love who are hurting and suffering, with no way of helping, except to say, "I love you." "That sucks more than anything." or "I am here for you...whatever you may need."
In an effort to try to jump back into my blog, and to actually give you something worth reading and coming here for...here I am. Hi. I missed you. I missed my blog. My heart is still extremely heavy. Such is life, and somehow we must push forward and find what wonderful things are waiting for us.
Lots have been asking, (oh how I hate...no no...DETEST drawing attention to myself.) Weird right? Considering this is MY. BLOG. But it is true. I am shy, and would rather stay in the shadows... but as per your request this was me and "Millz" (code name for blogging purposes) a month ago at six months. Millz is a girl. I thought I made that clear? Some of you didn't know. We are THRILLED, (Although Hubbs is still freaking a little at having two girls to take care of). This little girl has been waiting A. LONG. TIME. to come to our family, and we have been waiting for her to FINALLY be on her way. FER REALZ! Only 8-10 more weeks. Squee!
Puffy and slouchy...oooo SO hawt. (Photo Courtesy of Hubbs May 3, 2009)
Here is my stunning Grammy and me the day my Papa passed away. Don't we look amazing? This lady just had hip replacement! A week after Papa's funeral. Isn't she bomb? Love you so much Grandma...and eat up on those Hershey bars okay?
The last picture of Grandpa. Hubbs took this one (that is why it sucksalicious...you know I love you baby...I am teasing, TEASING). At first I really hated it...but now I love it. I love my kids contemplating eternal life. I love remembering the feeling in that room, although it was heartbreaking, it was very very spiritual. So glad he is in a better place. Love you Papa.
And one I took of my little man. Oh how I love him. He is my joy and my buddy.
Hope you are all having a wonderful week. I am hoping you are all getting away for this Memorial weekend. We were going to go to New Mexico, but seeing how blasted hot it is here, I am personally skipping out going into EXTREME temps. Going to the pool today...and sleeping in ALL WEEKEND LONG! What are your plans?
Lock him in a prison cell and you have John Bunyan
Bury him in the snow of Valley Forge, and you have George Washington
Raise him in poverty and you have Abraham Lincoln
Subject him to bitter religious strife, and you have Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The only president to serve four terms in office
Burn him so severely in a school house fire that doctors say he will never walk again, and you have Glen Cunningham, who set the world record in 1934 for running the mile in 4 minutes 6.7 seconds
Deafen a genius composer and you have Ludwig von Beethoven
Drag him more dead than alive from a rice paddy and you have Rocky Blyer, running back for the great 1970 decade Pittsburgh Steelers
Have them born in a society filled with racial prejudice, and hatred and you have Booker T. Washington, Harriet Tubman, and Martin Luther King Jr.
Have him born in a Nazi concentration camp, paralyze him from the waist down at age 4, and you have Itzhak Pearlman, the incomparable violinist
Call him retarded and write him off as uneducated, and you have Albert Einstein
Amputate the cancer ridden leg of a young Canadian and you have Terry Fox, who ran half way across Canada on an artificial leg
Take both legs away from him and you have Douglas Bader, an RAF fighter pilot who was captured three times by Germans and escaped three times on artificial limbs
Label him too stupid to learn and you have Thomas Edison
Blind him at the age of 44 and you have John Milton, who 16 years later, wrote The Great Paradise Lost
Call him dull, hopeless, and a flunk out of school in the 6th grade, and you have the famous statesman Winston Churchill
Tell a boy who loves to draw that he has no talent, and you have Walt Disney
Spit on Him, mock Him, humiliate Him, betray Him, and crucify Him, and He forgives you...
****
I am back, after a long week. You have been missed. Have had a lot of things going through my mind the past week, about trials and suffering. I have watched many over the past two weeks. It has saddened my heart but also has renewed my faith in who we are and what we can accomplish and overcome.
To all of my friends who are dealing with opposition right now...please know I love you and I am thinking of you. My heart is truly with you.
I don’t normally ‘drink’ but today I am honoring one of my most favorite men ever.I don’t remember a day growing up where he didn’t have a Coke in his hand!Every morning when he would get ready for work, he would have at least six with his lunch.I think I realize now why Grandma always gave us her Diet Cokes…she must have had to spend a small fortune keeping Grandpa in Coke!
There have been many sleepless nights this week as I thought back on what I could share with you about such an amazing man.I will be brief in my words, but hope that you can feel what a powerful influence he was on my life, on all of our lives, and I would just like to share with you the five most powerful things I learned from him.
The first:
He gave me the blessing of the Priesthood in my life.In essence, Grandpa was not only known to my heart and to me by the title of Grandfather, but he was in all aspects to me a “father”.He was like a dad to me.
When I was a baby, he gave me my name and a blessing.
When I was very sick at the age of 2 ½ he came to my home one night, when I was a very very sick girl.I can remember some images of that night, he was one of them.There is no doubt in my mind that I am here today as a direct result from his blessing upon my head.
He was there for me again a few years later when we were three-wheeling in the snow.He was pulling kids around on tubes hooked to the back of the fun machines, while I was sitting on the three wheeler.I don’t recall if he was driving, or who was at the wheel, but somehow we stopped short and my head kept going…right into the handlebars.I still have a scar in proof of the day.I remember being carried and being laid in my aunt and uncle’s gold van by two big hands.I was cared for that day by two big strong hands once again. A memory of the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City comes to mind.I remember entering that warm, warm water and walking across the font into those loving, strong hands, and being baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.I remember many strong hands, his were a set of them, placed upon my head to confirm me a member of the church.
The second thing that has stuck with me
throughout my life:
…and I mentioned it a few times, were his hands.He had the most AMAZING hands.They were SO SO big.They were so strong.I remember as a child, sitting on his lap, or laying with him on the floor watching television, and just looking at his hands, caressing them, and comparing my tiny hands with his.
Grandpa was a mechanic.So it goes without saying that his hands were always “dirty”.It was a sign of hard work, the sign of a man who loved his job.The most amazing thing, and the hardest thing to watch over the past twelve years, was to watch his hands become clean over time.As I would go visit him at the VA, I would still caress his hands, hold his hands and compare mine to his…but the thing missing was the dirt.I could never get over my astonishment.I learned from my husband that if you are truly happy in a job, you will want to do it forever, literally.For my husband’s father he cuts hair.Someday he hopes to cut Heavenly Father’s hair.It is my hope that someday Heavenly Father will let my Grandpa work on his car so that when he greets me after this life that I will recognize his hands again because they will be covered in dirt.
The third thing he taught me? How. To. Swear. I recall many a Sunday afternoons waiting for Grandpa to get home from his church meetings.Grandma would have dinner ready and waiting for him.He would walk through the door, throw his scriptures and say, (and I am editing this because I am in the chapel) “Darn it all to hell!”
Other times we often heard, “Oh Shiz” or “Aww Hell”quickly followed by my Grandma’s “Lloyd!”
I guess living across from them as long as we did; something was bound to rub off. I swear like a soldier at times, and I owe that all to my Grandpa…a habit, like Coke I am still trying to quit.
The fourth thing I take from him:
…is his love of art.As we have heard today, Grandpa was a wood-worker.He was a true artist.I remember him helping my brother with his Pinewood Derby car for Scouts.I remember watching the race of that car in the basement of this very church.Grandpa was so proud of his Grandsons!I also remember him helping Marcus with other Scouting projects.One being knot tying.He was always eager to help us with school projects, and I still have a clay sculpture of the Delicate Arch he painted for me.
I was SO jealous of the day he took Marcus out and let him USE HIS CAMERA!Even at my tender young age, I saw how proud my Grandfather was of his beautiful camera.I too had that love, even back then.I have taken what he loved and made it my own, and to this day I find much solace and moments of reflection behind my lens.I owe my love of photography to him.
I feel so blessed to have inherited some of his talents.
Finally, and most important I take away:
…his love for his FAMILY.
When I learned of his “courting” my Grandmother, I am amazed.I am amazed to see their old fashioned love, and to have taken that into my own life.I love the story you will hear of the Seminary Social.Love his absolute devotion to my Grandma, and so thankful that I have found someone like him to love me for all eternity! His love extended to all of us.Every single one of us in this family was loved and adored by him.I can imagine his happiness when his Grandsons were born…but I know that he no less loved each one of his granddaughters with the same adoration.
I was blessed to have spent so much time with him as a younger child.He and my Grandma were there for my mom and for us.
I am sure that there were times when he came home from work, and all he wanted to do was spend time with his beautiful wife…and there we were. But he never let us know that.We never felt that. He was always so loving, he let us watch his television and drink his Cokes…and he would play with us.
He taught me to sing to my babies. He sang to me.He sang to me often, and in honor of him, and to give him my answer true, I want to leave you with the song he used to sing to me almost daily when I was growing up.I love you Grandpa.Until we meet again:
“Grandpa, Grandpa…here is your answer true. I’m half crazy all for the love of you. I don’t need a stylish marriage…
I don’t even want a carriage. We’d look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.”
Remember to redeem it by Saturday, May 9, 2009 to get your prize.
Thank you to all who participated! SO glad I didn't have to choose the winner! And a special thank you to Goldsmith Co. Jewelers for the generous gift.
Hope you all got your pearls and started your Pandora bracelet.
(I am off for a few days as my grandfather passed away on Sunday night. My family needs me as we prepare for his funeral. See you after Friday. Loves to all.)
Me and the ladies (Leisha and mrs. r) at the red carpet event! Hawt.
Remember all the joy I shared with you about my new necklace and bracelet? Well, I wore my necklace all day cleaning, and "Princess" was an understatement. Who says we can't be June Cleaver? Although I did leave the dress and heels in the closet. Anyway, hope you are all on your way to pick up your strand!
Who wants to win a $50 Gift Certificate to Goldsmith Co. Jewelers?
Wishing we could really crack the safe.
Wanna know how?
Here are the deets:
The contest ends May 4, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. MST
Comment on this post anytime between now and Monday night, LEAVE your e-mail address! If you don't leave your e-mail address, I won't know where to send the certificate. Got it?
If you want extra chances to win, make a post and link back to this post on your Facebook, Blog, or Twitter (follow me while you're at it @kimsueellen). Then come back here and comment again, telling me where you linked it. (Again, please leave your e-mail addy with each comment.) That is three extra chances to win.
I will draw and announce the winner on Tuesday morning.
The Gift Certificate MUST be redeemed at Goldsmith Co. Jewelers by Saturday, May 9, 2009 since it is a gift for Mother's Day.
