Arrrrr....

THE funniest thing I have seen in a LONG time...

Saw this and was rolling on the floor laughing so hard I could not breath.

ME!

Photograph Courtesy of Reed Photographic

It has been a while since I have done this, posted thoughts, deep things of my heart. I feel so very blessed for the life I have lately. Things have been stressful indeed, it always seems like one thing after another, after another. I feel like I have let some people down, but then again, feel like I have done some wonderful things...hoping all of that evens out in the wash.

The last week or so I have taken some major inventory of my life. What is important? What isn't? What can I do more to be on the track I want. I thought back to a time in my life when I had it "all together" back then I was waking up early, going to bed at a decent hour, attending the gym, eating right, taking the best care of Jay (he was a year old) and I was organized, studying the scriptures, and fulfilling my duties as a primary teacher. Granted, I wasn't in school and I wasn't running a business and keeping my husband going with his business, but all of that aside, I determined last week that I need to do more, be more, and feel the happiness I felt back then when I had it all together.

Just to share with you a bit of what I have been doing, hopefully it may inspire someone else, and may continue to give me the strength I need to move forward in my quest. About a month ago I gave up soda. Seriously that was a struggle for me! I loved me a Dr. Pepper. I get headaches a lot and would always use soda as a crutch. I still get headaches, but I feel like I am medicating myself less frequently, whether it be with a soda or Excedrin. I noticed that once I gave that up it was easier for me to make other changes, eating less, eating better (SO not EVEN close to being perfect, but BETTER!) and slowly over the course of the time I quit I have been able to talk myself into being more active. On Saturday I ran further than I have ever run before in a single stretch. I am not a strong athlete, nor runner, but for me this was a victory. Since then I have been able to talk myself into running 15 more yards everyday. This is so hard, it is a very mental thing. Every one I talk to who runs tell me how mental it is, just getting yourself to that place is so very hard. The first day I went back I had my mind in that place, but I have to admit it has been a struggle. I am not an everyday runner, but plan on keeping it as part of my exercise regimine and doing a little more to improve myself and push myself. I just feel better (albeit beat, but better!) I am also doing more of the group classes at the gym, I am not sure what my physical goals are, just anything I can do to improve myself all the way around.

This is really personal, but Hubbs and I have decided to do Foster Care in hopes of getting our next child here sooner. We have been "finding" a birthmother for five months with LDSFS and have heard nothing. No phone calls, no e-mails. My heart is aching. This is such a hard thing for me to share, since I feel a lot of questions and judgements from people because of it, "Why are you adopting, can't you have your "own" children?" "Why can't you just be happy with the two you have?" The answers don't come easy. I think about them all the time, but it just comes down to the fact that I don't feel like we are done. I honestly and completely feel like there is one more child to join our family. The only way I can feel at peace is to do all that I can to get them here. I imagine the feelings would be the same had I adopted J and Memms, and feel like no matter what I am in the right place in my life. This does not go without saying I am not fearful, I think like most couples we just don't want to wait for years and years. I don't want to be holding onto something for so long that it consumes my life, that when I look back I regret losing time for even a second with my little ones now. So, even though my heart is aching I am trying to focus my energy onto J and Memm, and hoping that while I do that someone out there can help us find our next child soon. We are so happy, and for the first time in a while I am feeling hopeful that a change is coming.

Life is good despite the slowing real estate market. We have been blessed to have a few clients in Hubb's back pocket to get us through this slump, and through it all we are able to make ends meet. This is a true testament to me of how mindful Heavenly Father is of our little family. We are making it work and I am thrilled, something I wasn't sure was going to happen when we moved into this beautiful home. I am so happy here, I just feel so good to be home and with our family, it is just so nice.

I have been reading, like CRAZY. Even with all of that I am impressed at how much I am getting accomplished. I am a reading addict. I just finished the Stephanie Meyer series, SO GOOD...I highly recommend that series. To be honest, and I am not sure why, I hated the first book and a half, but by the second half of two and #3 I was hooked! Definitely cannot wait until #4 comes out next fall. I just finished The Glass Castle. I recall seeing a show about Jeanette Walls and her family a few years back. I am so impressed with her memoir, a very good read, and a very good kick in the butt for the rest of us. If you have some time, I suggest you pick one up.

Well, that is about it, how is that for an update on ME? Hope things are going wonderfully for the rest of you!

Hat, hat, hat, HAT!

I am so thankful for the things I have learned in the past few months. Things that have helped me in my photography, in my life. So thankful for this little man, for the person that he is, for who he makes me want to become!

BLUE

Some more summer delights. Jay loves the color BLUE...when he got his hair cut he got some blue hair spray put it, when he woke up from is nap that day it was EVERYWHERE...popped them into the tub and got these. Love that face on Jay...and that "cheese" from Memm...perfection.

Random Goodness

Not sure when I took these. They got lost in the shuffle of my crazy summer perhaps. Went through them today. So random. Not even sure what the objective was, if there even was one. I am always amazed at how random my photography is. Some days so great, other days I think "what was I thinking"? Somedays saturated, some days not much color, some days light, some days really contrasty. I seem to love it all, and wonder if I will ever find "my" place. Love these kids though. I remember this day, so happy to have it captured, just love them. Love them so very, very much!

Heard:

"Tra la la la la, tra la la la, tra la la la la , tra la la la, not to the circus, not to the pool, can't you guess? I'm going to school!"

This page just needed an update!

I was SO tired of coming here and seeing that awful orange photo of Emm. It is something that happens in Microsoft after I size for web. Totally weird. Anyway, here is proof I take AWFUL photos all the time, but I LOVE THIS ONE. Some strange, odd reason, the focus is off, it is blurry, I dunno, probably because she is smiling?

We'll be gone for the weekend. Guess we're taking our Labor Day weekend a week late. Hope everyone is doing well...sorry my life is so boring, not much to talk about. Did finish reading Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. Hoping #2 gets better...just started that one. Love to read, but hate how it consumes my life, anyone else EVER have that problem?

Inquiring minds...

...Get their answers, but only for a limited time! ;) First, let's start with the headbands. It is probably driving some of you mad. They are not children's headbands. Yep, they are for ADULTS. Now, my children have big heads, but not HUGE heads, but it seems that adult headbands just stay on Miss just fine. I have noticed that these faux wrap headbands stay on better than the thinner ones, and she leaves them on, when her hair is done in a clip or pony she has it out in two seconds, these stay on longer, go figure. The key to my finding ANY item is to just "stroll" through whatever section a particular item I am looking for may be. So, if I am wanting headbands, I make sure to stroll through that section of the store, ANY and every store I go to, until I find. If I find and I like I buy. This particular headband came from Gadzooks I believe. I also have the black one from " Corn. Dog." that was purchasd from Claires at the mall. We have a chocolate brown from Target, and a white one from, oh, I think Claires or a store like it. Just LOOK, take the extra three minutes to walk through the headbands and if you like, just get it, you won't regret it, (unless you don't).
Second, the key to Miss' wardrobe? I dress her like I would dress myself. If I wouldn't wear it, I don't buy it (generally). I don't know where I started this, but I think I was just drawn to the bulky sweaters, the "flare" jeans, the grown up looking shoes. I am sure in a few years I will regret her looking so old and will put tutus and pink florals on her, but for now, I love simple. How'd you know? "Simply Me", "Simply You Photography". I know I am a dork. Anyway, if you notice most of her outfits could easily be made for an adult. This particular sweater was purchased from The Old Navy Outlet for $9 almost two years ago. That is the other secret. I have a closet full of clothes on hangers just waiting to be worn. $3 Pajamas from The Children's Place I saw on sale. (I bought 30 once) but I never have to buy them again. It was an investment, but every time I look in the closet I know I won't have to buy them again, it is a good feeling. ;) So, anyway, I get things on the clearance rack that are CUTE and I save them. I will pay a few dollars more for the cute sweater and forgo the 99 cent whatnots, (Unless of course they are cute whatnots, well then, WHY NOT?)
This dress. I am sad to admit I paid full price. I had a vision. I didn't quite fulfill my vision, but it is a very beautiful dress, and I do not regret buying it. It was from Old Navy. I splurge sometimes.
Okay, the beloved Corn. Dog. shoot. Shirt: Target. It came with two shirts in one. SAWEET, I think the shirt was only $7.00, and heck for "two shirts" I was getting one for $3.50, can't get much better than that. The leggings were $3.00 at Wal-mart. WAL-MART.
Shoes. Ashlee wanted to know about shoes, Leslie wanted to know about shoes, here is the ENTIRE scoop on shoes. I treat shoes much like I treat a beautiful cream cable knit sweater with chunky buttons off the clearance rack. BUY THEM, even if they are three sizes too big. If you love them, and they are cheap, why not? Later, we will be glad we did. I am, and have never regretted it yet. These pink delights were from, get ready with a pen and paper, cause you NEED to go there. Smith's Marketplace. There are four locations in our valley that I can think of...These pink (and black) dandy's are indeed Chuck Taylor's. I got them for under $15 at Smith's Marketplace. They have great sales and coupons to boot. (No pun intended, although I am eyeing a pair for Miss for the winter.) I have found more fantastic shoes for my kids at Smith's than anywhere else. Seriously. Don't second guess yourself, if you see something you like, and the size is right (or bigger) buy it. If you don't, you can subject yourself to me and hunt them down, (but be aware you will be disappointed if you don't find them in the end.) I have sent many a ladies on goose chases after seeing a pair on Jay or Memm, and some have failed, but many times others succeed. Another great, overlooked shoe fantasy land? SEARS. YES, SEARS! 60% of my childrens shoes come from Sears. And the best thing? As of yesterday they were having some very NICE shoes (leather) on sale for $5. $5! I bought Mister 4 pairs of leather shoes...all for under $25 with tax! I have done this before, and the best part? Next year when they can wear the new size, everyone will want them and won't be able to get them, it'll drive people wild! Also, if you have some cash to burn, Journeyz Kidz is a fun place for shoes. Sometimes I find goodies at Payless, but that is hard, usually NO sizes for my kids there. If you are up at the factory stores, Stride Rite is a great place, they have a fantastic clearance table. I found Mister LEATHER shoes for under $10 and the sandals he wore ALL summer were leather and cost $11. Can't get that at Payless or even Wal-Mart nowadays. I just guessed his size and luckily I guessed right!
This outfit is pretty straight forward, love the graphic tee from The Children's Place, an early Summer steal for $5. The jeans from Old Navy, and the black chucks from Smith's.
Mister is NOT left out, he just chooses to wear what he wants these days. Boys are fun. I bought these shoes from a clearance rack at Ross (They were Stride Rites). Saved them up for a long time. The pants: Clearance rack at The Chilrens Place $4. No JOKE. The jacket, well another splurge from The Children's Place, none of your business how much it cost! ;) And the shirt underneath was a hand me down! Can't see it but it was CUTE.

Places I frequent:

The Children's Place (generally ONLY the clearance racks)

Old Navy (I stay away because I can get myself into trouble easily, but the Outlet is a good place sometimes to find last season's stuff at a discount)

TARGET, TARGET, TARGET!!! Cheap prices for REALLY cute stuff. Just stroll people, if it doesn't shout at you, don't buy it!

Wal-Mart. EVERY TIME I go, I stroll, sometimes I find great stuff, usually for Mister...nice church clothes too.

Gymboree Clearance (hardly ever, but if I have time I'll stroll)

Ebay "LOTS" if you have time to look and bid (only if I am desperate for a certain something)

Savers (Stroll, it is fun and sometimes you find great things)

And for me? Target, Maurices (where I got that black shirt), and Forever 21, and Susie's Deals (If you have never gone, call me, I'll take you. Everything is $5.99 and less. Lots of it being Forever 21 leftovers or seconds)!

My last piece of advice, and I gave it to Moosh in Indy long ago: But it will hold true for all of you, the truth is I buy 2, TWO, dos, DOIS, really cute, hip, fun, (sometimes a little more than I want to pay for) outfits for my kids for them to wear when I go see "Them" whoever you want "Them" or "They" to be. I just feel like if my kids are clean, washed, look good, then I look good and it takes the pressure off of me. Just a thought, many people have taken this advice and swear by it...try it out and let me know how it works.

Coming tonight...

"The Clothing Post" A few weeks ago, Blair requested I tell where I get all the clothes for my kids, and now I have had five people ask where the headbands are from...if you have a specific question, ask it now...you guys are so funny!

Remember him today...

Andy's having a major surgery...please remember him today, in your thoughts, in your prayers. Well wishes for all of them!

Growing up!

"Mister, SMILE!" "I can't Mom, the sun is TOO bright, mine eyes are hurting!"
Proof.Leaving now...The color is a little off on these, it may be blogger, have no idea, strange. Anyway...

Mister started preschool today. I wanted to be a good mom and document the day, this is literally as far as I got. This kid is my heart, so honest, so real, I hope he always stays that way. "Mom, can you stop taking pictures now? I want to go to school!" And he turned around and did.

I picked him up and asked him how his day went, he told me all about how they had "punch". Hmm? I asked, "Punch?" "Yeah Mom, PUNCH!" I wasn't getting it..."Like someone punched you?" He sighs, "Lemonade Mom, we had lemonade."

Too wise beyond years. The highlight of the day was when he got to use scissors. "Real scissors, tiny scissors." His world will never be the same.

My world? I didn't get emotional until the scissors part. He can't use scissors here, probably because we only have big scissors, but I realized he is getting older. No longer a baby, no longer needing me so much, that means "I" am getting older and more mature, and with that it means I can't need him as much. It is such a treasure to watch him grow, learn, and amaze me. I want so much for him. The other day he was drawing for quite some time, I asked him, "Do you want to be an artist when you grow up?" He answered immediately, "No Mom, I want to be a rocket!" Okay, maybe not too grown up yet.

"J-Dawg?!"

Good girl, don't hug the boys back...YET!

Emm and I were a little thrown off today without Jay around. We had an appointment to teach today. Memm was so tired and a bit moody, but had fun nonetheless. She gave me this look, I didn't think that they knew how to so young. They do a lot of things I didn't know they could do so young. Go figure.

Literally, the words came right out of his mouth...

"Mom! Go take a picture of Memms!"
Nuff said.

Prayers and Support Needed!

Our friend Andy fell from the Gateway on Tuesday afternoon while at work. He is in pretty bad shape, but he is stable, alive, and fighting. I just wanted to ask everyone to remember this sweet family in your prayers.

If anyone is able and would like to donate, there is a fund set up at any US Bank under the name: Gudmundson Donation Fund. Another friend of mine is taking donations, so if you would like to help, contact me and we will make sure it gets to the bank.

We love you Ashlee and Andy! Hang in there Buddy!

She is amazing...

Cassie

Love this boy!

He just melts my heart. He was really sick this past weekend, fever, sore throat, just so not himself, and yet, he was the sweetest, most kind, thoughtful boy I have ever seen out of him. For a week he has been an angel, I wondered where my boy had gone to, and why this little man replaced him. Until today at the fair when he LOST. IT. Due to the fact I did not get him a "blue ice cream" but rather a "cor de rosa ice cream" (pink) and he threw a fit for no less than 20 minutes. Even so, the things he says make me laugh, he never ceases to amaze me with his whit and charm. So, so, very in love with him.

Playing Dress Up

Anyway, isn't she just the cutest thing you have ever seen? I was dying as this was unfolding, and she really didn't see me until that last shot. What a DOLL! I am still amazed that at a year and a half she can go into my closet (while I was showering), help herself to my jewelry box, splash on a pair of pumps and go to town. Is dress up just in her nature? Did I do things like this? I don't think I did. All I remember doing at age four was climbing up the hall closet shelves and stealing lip gloss out of my mom's makeup bag. This girl is already accessorizing. I am SO in love.

Thankful for my freedom.

I wish I had a photograph to post with this. I don't, but hopefully my message can get across.

Today as I was so blessed to be able to drive to the store and pick up a pizza, I noticed on my drive home, our flag--The American Flag waving on a flagpole. It was then that I remember a trip I took to Brasil a few years ago. I remember visiting, and how odd it felt that everywhere I looked I saw the Brasilian flag waving in the wind, instead of my beloved Stars and Stripes.

I felt a lot of pride today, and thankfulness that I live in a country, and more importantly a portion of our country where I can afford food for my children. I have the luxury of driving to the corner and picking up a pizza.

I dunno, just stuff I take for granted a lot, but seeing that flag today, reminded me of how blessed we all are!

Forgot to mention...

...I read lips.

Let me explain. When I was a little girl I suffered from two major ear infections. leaving me with some hearing loss. After a few years of working in a clothing manufacturing facility, the humm of the machines didn't help much. Over the years I have learned to compensate for this loss by reading lips. I don't even realize I am doing it until after I leave a meeting, or an event. Generally I do it if I am in a noisy place like church, the mall, a restaurant, or if my kids are being loud. I always feel so embarassed because I should be making "eye contact".

Okay, I HAVE to link you...

...I am too proud. TOO. PROUD. A word I do NOT use lightly. Goes back to my days as a Seminary Council council member. (Inside Joke) ANYWAY. Please go and check out my student Miss Cassie.

I honestly am BLOWN away with what this lady has done with only TWO, yes TWO lame classes with moi. The "bokeh" the compositions, the creativity. She is better than ME! I am not even joking when I say that. I am not going to allow you to comment on this one. You have to go and see for yourself. Give her some mad shout-outs people. Way to go Cass!

My Big Boy

We spent a lot of time together last night doing our little photo shoot. He WANTED to have his photo taken (at least a few, and mostly before we left the house). We had a little family night tonight after taking Miss to the doctor. We ate dinner at the mall, got a cookie, and walked around. It felt SO good to be back with them, no other stresses, or plans for the week but THEM. I told him, "You are my heart!" He brings tears to my eyes. Growing so fast, no longer a little boy, "I'm a big boy Mom!" Oh how I love!

Why Do You Blog?!

Sarah asks, Why do you blog?

I answer:

Laughing a bit, It used to be so I could be honest with my feelings so I wouldn't go CRAZY thinking I was the only one! Now, I realize how important it is that I do blog, because I am indeed a little crazy, but without this blog I would miss out and forget all of "the little moments" in my children's lives. The funny things they say, the things that melt my heart. Another reason, to stay in touch with friends, when the miles and stresses of life would otherwise keep us apart! Miss you Sarah!

I tag:

Arianne

Leslie

Amanda

April

Ashley

18 Months, Who wants Ice Cream?

"I DO!!"

It is hard to believe that eighteen months have gone by since this little girl joined our family. I say little girl, because that is what she is. Each day she amazes me, she always comes up with the funniest phrases. I was getting her ready for church yesterday and I love her so much I started yelling, "BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!" and what do I hear in return? "BEAUTIFUL EYES!" My jaw hit the floor, since when does she talk? When can she say whatever she wants? Today after we took her for her 18 month photo shoot (with mom) I asked very loudly, "Who wants ice cream?" She shouts, "I DO!!!!" I am dying here. She is not a baby anymore. Just love her so much, love her squeaky little voice. Love how much she loves her brother, how well they play together, how much they care for one another!!!

So very happy to be their mom. So very blessed to be their mom. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!

Final Project

Hubbs and I went on a trip last weekend to Moab. I know I have driven through there when I was a little girl, but had never gotten out of the car. We didn't travel much when I was younger, so this was a place I had always wanted to go. After we were married, we set a goal to visit all of Utah. Sadly though, we haven't had time to visit close to home, although we have been blessed to travel the world.

We left the kids with the in-laws and went down, just him and me. For the assignment we had to write a proposal about how we wanted to execute the final, why were we going to shoot this particular final. Anyway, my goal was to "reconnect" with my husband. Things have been SO stressful around here the last few months. We have a considerable amount to be grateful for, but at times it is easy to lose sight of one another, and US in the mix of it all. I had an idea in my mind of what I wanted to photograph, what I wanted to walk away with, and this was definitely what I had imagined and more. It was nice to get away, to be together if only for a day, and to be able to see such a magnificent part of the world. Feeling very thankful for this time.

My little brother and feeling a bit better...

I cannot tell you how good it feels to be out of school, but since all of you have been there too, perhaps you can remember. I have been so busy the past two months, I felt I was missing out on so much. Not to complain though, it has been a good busy, a learning busy, a thankful busy.

I have finally convinced my little brother (23) not so little, but convinced him anyway to start offering his talent to others. He plays the Ukelele and sings with one of his friends and another woman. They are AMAZING. I called him a few days ago to get me a demo CD, I was really blown away with what he came up with. If I can figure out how to upload music to my blog I would love to share. Anyway, if anyone is interested in hiring him, they sing at church functions (they have a handful of original, very unique, funny, and spiritual songs), but mostly they play at Luaus and Weddings, but they are in such demand that they are starting to charge. Anyway, if you are interested please let me know! Awesome stuff!

This photo is SUPER old, but came across it today and messed around with it a bit. Kind of fun. All of my recent stuff is on my other computer waiting for Internet access and high speed in that room, so when I get it, there will be lots to share! I have been busy organinzing photos, and getting my scrapbook room in order again so that I can start scrapbooking. I am looking so forward to it in my three weeks off from school.

That is about it from me here. Nothing really new or exciting. Hope everyone is doing fabulously!